The story of Baby Mai [Norn Chanboramai]

BABY MAI

Story by: Partners in Compassion Cambodia - Wat Opot Stories
Originally posted at: http://www.partnersincompassioncambodia.com/index_files/babymai.htm

Click here to donate to Wat Opot Children's fund

Every once in a while you come across someone special and you know from that very first meeting that this one is going to steal your heart.

Baby Mai came to us in January of 2007. Her mother is HIV Positive but could not get transportation to the doctor when the time came for Mai to be born and so she had the baby at home. She was not aware that by doing so the baby ran the risk of getting HIV as well. She tried caring for the child but, because she also has both of her aging parents to care for, she found it difficult to keep the baby and so she brought Mai to us.

It has been well over a year since we have had anyone really sick here and so when Baby Mai developed diarrhea on a Friday morning I was not really concerned. She was getting in some new teeth and I assumed that was all it was. By Sunday morning however she was beginning to get dehydrated and so we forced fluids throughout the day. Monday was a holiday and the clinic was closed but she appeared to be responding to the treatment. We sent her in to the hospital early Tuesday morning and the Doctors decided to keep her there for observation and IV therapy.

It didn’t take long for Baby Mai to win her way into the hearts of everyone here and despite her being HIV Positive she developed rapidly into a sweet young girl, throwing her kisses to everyone as they passed by.

Sina, her foster mother, called us on Saturday afternoon, just before our family service in the Temple, saying Baby Mai had died and could we come and pick up her body. I sent the car immediately and we dolefully dedicated the service in her memory... but when Mr. Sary arrived at the hospital, he found that Mai was still alive, though very sick. Her stomach and extremities were swollen and because there are no medical staff at the hospital during the weekends, the mother feared the baby would die during the night and she would be all alone in the small sterile room that the hospital provided for her. Sina and Baby Mai were exhausted and needed the support of their community and so I told Mr. Sary to bring them home.

We massaged her stomach and got her internal systems moving again. By Monday, she was looking better and, for the first time in several days, ate some solid food without vomiting. That evening she was getting back to her old self again and blew me a kiss as I went to bed… for that reason I was surprised when Sirain called me early the next morning.

“Sir… Baby Mai, dying” came the all to familiar words from out of the past.

I jumped up and rushed to the Children’s Center where I found Sina dressing Mai in her new blue dress. Sina said Mai had awakened after a fairly good night sleep and asked for her necklace to be put on… then she just closed her eyes and became non-responsive.

I examined Mai but could not hear any congestion in her lungs. Her skin looked even better then the night before and there were no signs of dehydration, no fever, and the heart sounds were normal, yet it was obvious she was leaving us. I called her name and she moved slightly as if to acknowledge me and then she daintily raised her small hand to her mouth and yawned, opening her eyes for just a moment as if to say, “Oh my… this is taking a bit longer then I had expected.” A few minuets later, she died peacefully in Sina’s arms.

People have questioned the wisdom in my decision to take Mai out of the hospital... from a Western perspective I can understand their reasoning but then we are not in a Western environment here and often the decisions I must make are not easy ones. If longevity were the primary purpose of living then Mai’s life was a failure and perhaps I am guilty of not doing enough to prolong her life. However if the reason for our being is to obtain total absence of all craving and suffering, then I think we can be assured she has found her Nirvana.

NORN CHANBOREMAI
January 22, 2008

A beautiful Khmer baby named Ann Marie

Baby Ann Marie (Photo courtesy of Wayne Matthysse, co-founder of Partners In Compassion)

April 30, 2010
By David Calleja
Foreign Policy Journal

Ann Marie is not the most traditional Khmer name a Cambodian girl can be christened with. Her bulging eyes and a black mark on her forehead the size of a human thumb print are signs of the burden she is carrying. This fragile baby who weighed 1.6 kilograms (3.5 pounds) at birth on March 23 has already experienced more trauma in her short lifetime than so many of us would experience in half of our statistically predicted average life expectancy.

Twenty days after Ann Marie was born, her mother passed away from AIDS-related complications. There is a high probability that Ann Marie is HIV positive. It is hoped that she has relatives who may come to visit her one day, but this is not a certainty because none of her relatives know where she is.

Wayne Matthysse is co-founder of Partners in Compassion, a communal home for residents infected with or affected by HIV/AIDS. He is under no illusions about the situation that he is dealing with. “We do not get the perfect children, just the rejected ones. But when you are in the kind of business we are in, you take whatever comes.”

Statistics tell conflicting stories on the approach to the situation of AIDS in Cambodia. The British-based charity AVERT declares on its website that Cambodia has Asia’s second highest AIDS prevalence rating. In a report released by UNAIDS in March that focused on Cambodia’s progress, the country’s National AIDS Authority shows that between 3638 children between the ages of 0-14 years received Anti-Retro Treatment, an increase of 18.6% compared to 2008, and 237.2% since 2005. While no new data is presented since the previous report in 2007, it reiterates that 8.8% of children aged between 0-17 years are recorded as orphans (one or both parents dead) and 6.1% of children aged between 0-17 years have a chronically ill parent.

For all the numbers and indicators, it does not answer how this affects the quality of life and care that baby Ann Marie will encounter.

Mr. Matthysse spoke about how Ann Marie became the newest resident of Partners in Compassion in Sramouch He village. Situated two hours from the Cambodian capital city of Phnom Penh, this is home for adults and children whose lives have been affected by HIV/AIDS, either through contracting the illness or having no other family capable of caring for them.

“The day Ann Marie’s mother died, Vandin San (who runs Partner in Compassion Home Care) rang me and asked if I would accept her.” With one phone call, Ann Marie was literally “dropped like a hot potato” on the doorstop; no forms and no bureaucracy to contend with.

In October 2008, while living in the nearby village of Tropang Sdok, I made a visit to Partners in Compassion to see how residents lived and the small scale business projects in animal husbandry, sewing, and community building. At the time, plans were being made to construct extra classrooms along with further restoration of the adjoining Wat Opot. At that time, 65 residents, of which less than half were identified as being HIV positive, resided on the grounds of Partners in Compassion. From that visit, two aspects stood out: Chhang’s Place, a crematorium named after one of the former child residents who passed away, and the level of responsibility undertaken by children in the burial process. They seemed remarkably mature for their age and cope with loss in a dignified manner.

There is no question about the amount of love that will be afforded to Ann Marie by Partners in Compassion’s extensive family. Inhabitants love their newest addition to the family like their sibling or daughter. Donors have provided consignments of baby clothes. With three trained nurses (including Matthysse, a qualified medic), there is no shortage of attention and expertise. The day after Ann Marie’s arrival, Jurgen Reichl, a Male Paediatric Intensive Care Nurse from Switzerland, arrived at Partners in Compassion and decided to stay for a few weeks. Together, the parenting skills and available medical resources give Ann Marie a fighting chance at living a full life.

Since her arrival, Mr. Matthysse says that Ann Marie’s condition has improved greatly and her weight has increased to 1.8 kg. “She is feeding well and is gaining more strength color,” he says. Once health services resume after the break, Ann Marie will be taken to the nearby town of Takeo to be registered in the HIV program. Mr. Matthysse is determined to provide the baby with the same opportunities that every other child, teenager and resident has had to make the most of life. “I am well aware of the fact that I will most likely not be around to see her graduate from high school,” says the 63 year-old. “So I must work even harder to assure that there will still be a program for her 18 years from now.”

This does not just represent Mr. Matthysse’s future vision, but one that is already in place. Current students benefit most from opportunities to shine, like Pesai, a high school student who has grand visions of becoming a professional artist. Several years ago, Pesai, his sister Srey Lak and mother entered the grounds following their father’s death from AIDS. Matthysse told me their while their mother was taking Anti Retro Viral (ARV) drugs and showed signs of improvement, she later broke her hip, developed ulcers on both buttocks, and never recovered. She died with her two children at her bedside.

“After the cremation, Pesai came to me and asked, ‘I don’t feel sad that she died. Is that wrong?’” says Mr. Matthysse. “I assured him that there was nothing wrong with feeling that way and that in time he would be able to remember the good times again.”

Pesai’s inquisitiveness about his own nature and that of others has influenced his art, dealing with what Mr. Matthysse calls the two sides of personality: what we show and hide—traits reflected in Pesai’s depiction of Angkor. Mr. Matthysse believes that Pesai will not only become a wonderful artist, but more importantly, “a great leader”.

Maybe someday, when Ann Marie is older, she will find her own unique style in which to express her gratitude and approach to life, in an environment where everyone is beautiful.

You can find out more about Partners in Compassion by visiting their website:
www.partnersincompassioncambodia.com
------
David Calleja graduated with a Bachelor of Social Science and Master of Social Science from RMIT University in his home city of Melbourne, Australia. He has taught English in China, Thailand, South Korea and Cambodia, where he worked for a local NGO, Sorya, based in Tropang Sdok village. In addition he has also volunteered as a kindergarten English teacher, tutor and a football coach to male orphan students in Loi Tailang, Shan State. He has narrated and produced a video biography of Cambodian students learning English entitled I Like My English Grilled. His video documenting life at Stung Meanchey, Cambodia, A Garbage Life, can be viewed online. Contact him at david_calleja@foreignpolicyjournal.com. Read more articles by David Calleja.

Moe Alkaff brings funny to Cambodia

ENTERTAINERS WITH A HEART: (Above) Magician Alex Tan (left) and Moe Alkaff making the kids laugh with their magic tricks. (Below) Alkaff in a group shot with kids from a village in Siem Reap. --PICTURES COURTESY OF MOE ALKAFF

He performs magic to entertain kids in Aids homes and orphanages there

April 07, 2010
By Veena Bharwani
Electric New Paper (Singapore)

THE frail Cambodian boy was lying motionless in bed, crying in pain at a home in Phnom Penh.

He was dying of Aids.

Unable to watch the pitiful five-year-old cry any more, local funnyman Moe Alkaff went to the boy's bedside and started making funny faces.

Seeing his antics, the boy's wails turned into laughter.

The 47-year-old veteran entertainer, along with seven friends, met the boy and many others during his mission trip to Cambodia between March 21 and 29.

Apart from donating food, money and medicine to the poor, Alkaff did what he does best - pull on the comedian hat to make the kids laugh and forget their pain.

In all, Alkaff and his friends visited 12 floating villages, Aids homes and orphanages in Siem Reap and Phnom Penh.

Although he met many children, it was the little boy with Aids that he remembers the most.

Alkaff, who was the host of the long-running local gag show Gotcha in the 90s, said: 'I can't get this poor boy out of my head. He was crying unbearably for a while. He was so ill that he couldn't move at all. His head was turned to one side.'

But Alkaff said that seconds after he made the boy laugh and left the room, the boy burst into tears again.

'How can this stuff not bother anyone? It was tough but as much as possible, we wanted to make the kids laugh,' said Alkaff, who lives in Colorado but works out of Singapore.

Alkaff, who runs his events company Moezik locally, also hosts events in Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand and the Middle East.

'Food is temporary and will run out. But what we can offer these kids is a few laughs.

'This will make them smile and give them hope and will last a longer time than food,' he said.

Alkaff and his friends performed magic, danced, somersaulted and played games with the kids they met.

'The kids didn't understand English, so we just used actions to make them laugh,' said Moe, who just completed filming Ice Star Asia - an ice-skating version of Dancing With The Stars - at the end of December.

In the reality TV show, which will be broadcast to regional television channels, celebrities are paired with professional skaters.

Alkaff is the oldest member in the reality TV contest.

Eye-opening experience

Magician Alex Tan, 34, who travelled with Moe and the rest, said the trip was an eye-opener for him.

'I have been doing magic for 13 years and I have never seen kids like magic the way they did in Cambodia.

'We are just so fortunate in Singapore.'

Alkaff said the idea for the mission trip came about when he saw photos of his close friend, Ms Serene Herman, a Singaporean, on a mission trip in Cambodia.

He said: 'The pictures touched me. I had never seen so many poor people up close. You know, for Singaporeans, the idea seems very far away.'

Alkaff and his friends raised nearly $14,000 through a charity dinner and just from asking for 'loose change from friends'.

He said he plans to go on mission trips twice a year now.

'Some of the kids didn't want us to leave. They kept holding our hands and grabbing our feet before we left,' he said.

Changing lives

Wednesday, 24 June 2009
Written by David McAuley
SX News (Australia)

A backpacking trip to South East Asia led David McAuley to head a charity that’s making a difference: helping Cambodian children affected by HIV/AIDS. Travelling through Cambodia as a backpacker in 2005, I had no idea that the small town of Battambang was going to become such a big part of my life. Tucked away in the rice fields was a small Buddhist pagoda that was caring for forty street children. It was a fledgling project funded and supported by Australians John Kinsella and Tim Berry [owner of the Midnight Shift]. The children were abandoned or orphaned, many suffering from HIV. All were living in tin sheds with mud floors.

Four years later, I now find myself living in Battambang and managing our onsite operations. The Hope for Cambodian Children Foundation of Australia has built a beautiful centre with nine houses, complete with a school, kitchen, library and a Buddhist prayer bungalow. We now provide housing to 125 people, education to 170 and healthcare to over 200. The charity is about putting families back together and giving children a home and education.

Cambodia is country of harsh realities. For all its beauty and happiness, there is an immense suffering that plagues its people. The main propellant of this hardship is HIV/AIDS. More than two thirds of our children have been orphaned or abandoned because of the disease.

Much of the work at the centre is counselling and dealing with children suffering from post traumatic stress. Each child has a different story, a different hardship and a unique way of surviving. The stories of abuse, sex trafficking and drug trading never get easier to hear or closer to comprehension.

As the centre and project continue to grow and improve it is not the numbers or figures by which we measure our success. Watching the children grow, learn and thrive is more rewarding than any statistic can represent.

Two years ago a man delivered us a one-month premature baby in a plastic bag. His mother had died during child birth and there is no such thing as an incubator in Cambodia. Our local doctor said he had a 50 per cent chance of surviving. When one of our housemothers, Ma Vy, heard the report from the doctor, she asked if she could be the one to care for him. She named him ‘Samnang’, meaning good luck. And since that day he has never left her side.

Today Samnang is a strong and healthy boy. He lives with his housemother who also looks after twelve other teenage boys – no easy task. Not long ago Samnang took his first steps with his adopted older brothers looking on and, soon after, said his first word: “pa”. Many of the boys that live in Samnang’s bungalow have previously lived on the street, begging or selling drugs. For a special present, the boys used their pocket money to buy their new little brother a pair of tiny shoes that squeak when he walks.

I feel so lucky to be part of such an amazing project that is allowing children to reclaim their childhood. Many of our girls and boys have experienced things that no child should ever have to. But watching them learn to trust, to love and care for each other is like watching deep scars disappear.

Through the child sponsorship program we have seen such amazing improvement. Recently our volunteers have set up a wonderful website where people can directly donate goods such as mosquito nets, baby milk and shoes. The goods are delivered each month and make such an impact on the lives of the children and families in our community. Having sponsors, donors and volunteers provides a wonderful atmosphere of safety and consistency in which the children can thrive.

Hope for Cambodian Children is a hub of energy and excitement.

It is now a community centre where people come to seek help and friendship.

The SX Pride Week Gala Dinner, to be held on Wednesday, July 1, at Slide, will raise funds for the Hope for Cambodian Children Foundation. Tickets are $90, with $30 from every ticket purchased going towards the charity. For bookings, go to sxnews.com.au.
.............
David McAuley is the Manager Director of Hope for Cambodian Children Centre. He is based in Cambodia. Go to hopeforcambodianchildren.org.