Syracuse University Capstone Program (New York, USA)
Published: July 23. 2006
UTICA — More than 20 years ago, David Vallieres married a Cambodian woman.
Watching a wedding celebration Saturday at a Gibson Road residence brought it all back to him.
At the four-hour ceremony Saturday, believed to be the fourth Cambodian-style wedding in Utica, bride Saramoroth Buth waited in her parents' home for the groom, John F. Waire, to arrive.
The bride came to the United States from Cambodia as a refugee in 1982 with her parents. Utica has been home to many refugee groups since 1979, when the Mohawk Valley Resource Center for Refugees began resettling refugees from war-torn countries. The Cambodians are among a few dozen groups that have contributed to Utica's cultural and ethnic diversity.
The degree of integration being achieved could not have been more evident at Saturday's wedding ceremony. The groom's mother wore traditional Cambodian dress, a green skirt and blouse, and so did one of the bridesmaids, an American.
Buth met her husband in Maryland at a Red Cross blood-donation drive three years ago.
A church ceremony will be held in Maryland later, said Timothy Waire, the groom's father.
Synath Buth, the father of the bride, said he always wanted a Cambodian wedding for his daughter. His elder son also married an American but they could not have a Cambodian wedding.
"We like to keep Cambodian tradition," he said. "It takes a lot of effort. We rented the dresses, a few her mother got from her trips to Cambodia."
All this meant a great deal to Vallieres, whose wedding in 1985 was believed to be the first Cambodian-style wedding in Utica. He had met his wife at a store where she worked.
The two of them were married in the Khmer wedding celebrations, which may last seven days and at that time were new for him and to the community.
"It brings back great memories," he said Saturday. "The same guy dressed me too," he said. A Cambodian man, who is based in Philadelphia, rents wedding dresses for Cambodian weddings. The band of musicians was from Massachusetts: It is customary to have them play at weddings as they are considered culture-holders.
A procession symbolized the journey that Cambodian Prince Preah Thong once undertook to meet his bride, Princess Neang Neak.
At the wedding Saturday, most of the traditional rituals were carried out. An elderly man from the community conducted the ceremony, while others gathered all around him. A roast pig, chicken and fruits along with alcohol were laid out as offerings to the ancestors, whose presence and blessings are essential for the wedding.
The wedding lasted around four hours. There was traditional beef curry for the guests along with fruits and desserts.
The bride and groom were too enmeshed in the ceremony to be available for comment. But for some of the guests, it was thrilling to be attending a marriage outside their own religion or culture.
"The bride...she calls me mom," said Buth's neighbor Betty DeNigro said. "It is unbelievable. I have never seen anything like this. Where do we get the chance to see this kind of thing? It is so interesting."
Chris Gelfuso, who has worked with Sara Buth at ConMed, found it difficult to express her experience.
"This is indescribable," she said about the wedding.
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WEDDING traditions
A typical Cambodian wedding has multiple stages:
Watching a wedding celebration Saturday at a Gibson Road residence brought it all back to him.
At the four-hour ceremony Saturday, believed to be the fourth Cambodian-style wedding in Utica, bride Saramoroth Buth waited in her parents' home for the groom, John F. Waire, to arrive.
The bride came to the United States from Cambodia as a refugee in 1982 with her parents. Utica has been home to many refugee groups since 1979, when the Mohawk Valley Resource Center for Refugees began resettling refugees from war-torn countries. The Cambodians are among a few dozen groups that have contributed to Utica's cultural and ethnic diversity.
The degree of integration being achieved could not have been more evident at Saturday's wedding ceremony. The groom's mother wore traditional Cambodian dress, a green skirt and blouse, and so did one of the bridesmaids, an American.
Buth met her husband in Maryland at a Red Cross blood-donation drive three years ago.
A church ceremony will be held in Maryland later, said Timothy Waire, the groom's father.
Synath Buth, the father of the bride, said he always wanted a Cambodian wedding for his daughter. His elder son also married an American but they could not have a Cambodian wedding.
"We like to keep Cambodian tradition," he said. "It takes a lot of effort. We rented the dresses, a few her mother got from her trips to Cambodia."
All this meant a great deal to Vallieres, whose wedding in 1985 was believed to be the first Cambodian-style wedding in Utica. He had met his wife at a store where she worked.
The two of them were married in the Khmer wedding celebrations, which may last seven days and at that time were new for him and to the community.
"It brings back great memories," he said Saturday. "The same guy dressed me too," he said. A Cambodian man, who is based in Philadelphia, rents wedding dresses for Cambodian weddings. The band of musicians was from Massachusetts: It is customary to have them play at weddings as they are considered culture-holders.
A procession symbolized the journey that Cambodian Prince Preah Thong once undertook to meet his bride, Princess Neang Neak.
At the wedding Saturday, most of the traditional rituals were carried out. An elderly man from the community conducted the ceremony, while others gathered all around him. A roast pig, chicken and fruits along with alcohol were laid out as offerings to the ancestors, whose presence and blessings are essential for the wedding.
The wedding lasted around four hours. There was traditional beef curry for the guests along with fruits and desserts.
The bride and groom were too enmeshed in the ceremony to be available for comment. But for some of the guests, it was thrilling to be attending a marriage outside their own religion or culture.
"The bride...she calls me mom," said Buth's neighbor Betty DeNigro said. "It is unbelievable. I have never seen anything like this. Where do we get the chance to see this kind of thing? It is so interesting."
Chris Gelfuso, who has worked with Sara Buth at ConMed, found it difficult to express her experience.
"This is indescribable," she said about the wedding.
------------
WEDDING traditions
A typical Cambodian wedding has multiple stages:
- In the first stage, Hai Goan Gomloh, or the groom's procession, the groom's family and friends come to the bride's house led by a group of singers and bearing gifts and desserts.
- The second stage, Sien Doan Taa, has the couple asking for blessings from the ancestors, parents, relatives and guests.
- In the third stage, which is called Gaat Sah, the bride and the groom are cleansed in a ritual where singers, representing angels from heaven, dance around them. They bless them and prepare them for the wedding in an elaborate ceremony, where they cut their hair or pretend to cut it, and perform other grooming tasks.
- In the fourth stage, Bang Chhat Madaiy, the couple pays their respects to the parents. The family is an integral and important part of the Cambodian culture.
- The fifth stage, Bay Khon Chang Dai, is the knot-tying ceremony where friends and family members tie threads on the wrists of the couple to bless them and then shower them with palm flowers.
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