Cambodian’s Memoir Shows Pain, Hope

Life lessons: Oni Vitandham recently published her memoir, "On The Wings Of A White Horse." - Courtesy Oni Vitandham

By Amy Bentley-Smith
Features Editor
Gazettes (Long Beach, California, USA)

Oni Vitandham has seen more bloodshed, despair and sadness and experienced more struggle in her life than most people ever will.

Before she was 5, she had witnessed the killing of her godmother — her mother died in childbirth — and countless others, and was nearly killed herself. By the time she was 7, she had been imprisoned in a forced-labor camp, eventually escaping on foot and living for months in the jungle before becoming a refugee.

Vitandham is one of millions of people who suffered — many with their lives — under the brutal regime of Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge after its takeover of Cambodia in the mid- to late-1970s.

Her eventual immigration to the United States would lead to even more struggles: uncaring and often abusive foster parents, homelessness, rape, and attempted suicides — all prior to adulthood.

Least of her worries were the culture shock of a western country and the language barrier, which she admits she still deals with. But with each hardship, or when she thought she could no longer go on, she somehow survived.

“Weak and strong, when you combine that together we balance life more strongly and effectively and put it to good use,” she said, explaining her philosophy. “Better to rise above.”

Vitandham, who has lived in Long Beach since 1985, is unlike most Cambodians who experienced the Killing Fields and have kept their experiences bottled up inside. Vitandham has been speaking out about her experiences for many years, and more than a decade ago began putting her memories on paper. “On the Wings of A White Horse: A Cambodian Princess’ Story of Surviving the Khmer Rouge Genocide,” a memoir she self-published earlier this year, is the result of that endeavor.

“It felt like a release,” Vithandham said of finishing her book. “Now my memory will not crash me into a darkness. It’s a release of emotions, anger, forgiveness.”

The title of the book relates to a Cambodian legend of a winged white horse that arrives in times of need.

The title also has personal meaning. As a toddler, Vitandham remembers her father — whom she didn’t know was her father at the time — giving her piggyback rides. It was one of a few fond memories of her childhood.

Vitandham describes her memory:

“He wore a white scarf like a wing. He would hump over like a horse. I would get on his shoulder and hold on to the scarf,” she said of the man she would later learn was a Cambodian prince who fought against French colonization of Cambodia and later the Khmer Rouge regime.

That ride on her white horse has become a metaphor for Vitandham’s self-proclaimed mission in life to help others.

Outspoken for a woman in a male-dominated culture such as the Cambodian culture is, Vitandham said she does so to bring attention to the atrocities that occurred in hopes that it will never be repeated in another country, and to hopefully be an example to children that with perseverance and determination they can make it through anything life throws at them.

“I like to tell the story,” she said. “I like to empower other children.... I feel I have a destiny to help other children who face difficulty. I just want to reach out and help.”

She began fulfilling her destiny in her early 20s, when she established the nonprofit and international NGO Progressive United Action Association that provides economical, educational and advocacy to the people of Cambodia.

“On the Wings of a White Horse,” is another chapter in Vitandham’s quest to make a difference. She said she would like to see the book used in schools to teach students about an often-untold story in history, and of personal perseverance and the importance of self-esteem. She has been pitching the idea to a few school districts. While she has not had any luck so far, she won’t give up, she said.

“I have patience,” she said.

To learn more about Vitandham or her book, visit www.onistory.com.