By KER MUNTHIT Associated Press reporter in Phnom Penh
KER MUNTHIT catches up with the founder of the conservative country’s first-ever dating service.
PHNOM PENH, Cambodia (AP) — On a busy day, Seng Leakhena fields more than 20 telephone calls from clients — men and women who, defying convention, are seeking her help in finding prospective marriage partners.
From a second-story apartment on one of the busiest streets in the Cambodian capital, the casually-dressed 34-year-old entrepreneur runs Couple Service, the first-ever dating agency in this conservative Southeast Asian nation where arranged marriages are the norm.
Seng Leakhena said her trailblazing agency, which has male and female clients, is particularly helpful for women seeking suitable partners in a country where men often get the better deal in life.
Some 80 singles have sought her service since it was quietly launched in January, and two couples she introduced have married.
But her operation is also raising eyebrows among critics who worry about its defiance of tradition in a society where people do not talk openly about sex, and fear that it could exploit women.
Old-style courtship and marriage is an elaborate ritual, involving the man’s parents paying a visit to the woman’s family to formally ask for her hand. Common are consultations with soothsayers over the appropriateness of a match and a propitious date for nuptials.
Sim Sarak, a director-general of the Culture Ministry, said the dating service runs contrary to Cambodian culture and tradition. He and other critics see it as an example of how globalization brings unwelcome social and economic changes, ones that can create ‘‘conflict between generations.’’
‘‘Nowadays, it is difficult to pass on to young people what is deemed by the old generation as good culture and tradition,’’ said Sim Sarak. New, foreign, things like Valentine’s Day, he said, are more easily taken up by the younger generation.
Former Women’s Affairs Minister Mu Sochua, a social activist and a senior member of the opposition Sam Rainsy Party, described dating services as a ‘‘double-edged’’ opportunity.
They could work in favor of sophisticated, well-educated women trying to avoid the pressure of arranged marriages, but put poor ones at great risk of sexual exploitation, she said, noting that some dating agencies in the region are a simply a facade for human traffickers.
Seng Leakhena acknowledged she has been operating without a business permit from the government but dismissed suggestions that her firm is a front for trafficking.
‘‘It never crossed my mind,’’ she said. ‘‘What I am doing is simply offering men and women a path to know each other before they decide to get married according to our traditions.’’
She said she got her idea about starting a dating service from reading columns in local magazines where young people wrote in to express interest in seeking partners. Seng Leakhena, who previously worked as a hairdresser and helped manage her aunt’s pharmacy, is herself unmarried.
Testing her hunch, she first made a few phone calls to several young women, who, she said, ‘‘wanted to have male partners but were shy to come out and say it openly.’’
After consulting with friends in Singapore, which has established dating services, she founded her agency, which got off to a shaky start with only six clients in the first four months.
Before visiting her office most clients called to inquire how the service works, she recalled.
They are required to bring pictures of themselves, fill out a form — giving name, sex, date of birth, height, weight, skin color, address, marital status, occupation and hobbies — and deposit a registration fee equivalent to about $20.
Then the applicant needs to sign an agreement attesting to the truthfulness of his or her personal information and releasing the firm of any responsibility if their relationship does not work out.
If a female client is too shy to come to her office to fill out the form, Seng Leakhena said, arrangements can be made to meet with her at a designated location such as a restaurant.
Then it’s a matter of waiting for Seng Leakhena to make a match and pass information about one applicant to another. Among those still biding her time is a 56-year-old woman.
‘‘She is not interested in men younger than her, and I have not yet got any male applicants of her age,’’ Seng Leakhena said.
If two applicants agree to carry on their relationship past an initial meeting, each of them has to pay an additional fee of about $30.
Prak Seng Lim, 28, who was introduced through the service to the woman who became his wife, said the service does not mean the old ways are neglected.
PHNOM PENH, Cambodia (AP) — On a busy day, Seng Leakhena fields more than 20 telephone calls from clients — men and women who, defying convention, are seeking her help in finding prospective marriage partners.
From a second-story apartment on one of the busiest streets in the Cambodian capital, the casually-dressed 34-year-old entrepreneur runs Couple Service, the first-ever dating agency in this conservative Southeast Asian nation where arranged marriages are the norm.
Seng Leakhena said her trailblazing agency, which has male and female clients, is particularly helpful for women seeking suitable partners in a country where men often get the better deal in life.
Some 80 singles have sought her service since it was quietly launched in January, and two couples she introduced have married.
But her operation is also raising eyebrows among critics who worry about its defiance of tradition in a society where people do not talk openly about sex, and fear that it could exploit women.
Old-style courtship and marriage is an elaborate ritual, involving the man’s parents paying a visit to the woman’s family to formally ask for her hand. Common are consultations with soothsayers over the appropriateness of a match and a propitious date for nuptials.
Sim Sarak, a director-general of the Culture Ministry, said the dating service runs contrary to Cambodian culture and tradition. He and other critics see it as an example of how globalization brings unwelcome social and economic changes, ones that can create ‘‘conflict between generations.’’
‘‘Nowadays, it is difficult to pass on to young people what is deemed by the old generation as good culture and tradition,’’ said Sim Sarak. New, foreign, things like Valentine’s Day, he said, are more easily taken up by the younger generation.
Former Women’s Affairs Minister Mu Sochua, a social activist and a senior member of the opposition Sam Rainsy Party, described dating services as a ‘‘double-edged’’ opportunity.
They could work in favor of sophisticated, well-educated women trying to avoid the pressure of arranged marriages, but put poor ones at great risk of sexual exploitation, she said, noting that some dating agencies in the region are a simply a facade for human traffickers.
Seng Leakhena acknowledged she has been operating without a business permit from the government but dismissed suggestions that her firm is a front for trafficking.
‘‘It never crossed my mind,’’ she said. ‘‘What I am doing is simply offering men and women a path to know each other before they decide to get married according to our traditions.’’
She said she got her idea about starting a dating service from reading columns in local magazines where young people wrote in to express interest in seeking partners. Seng Leakhena, who previously worked as a hairdresser and helped manage her aunt’s pharmacy, is herself unmarried.
Testing her hunch, she first made a few phone calls to several young women, who, she said, ‘‘wanted to have male partners but were shy to come out and say it openly.’’
After consulting with friends in Singapore, which has established dating services, she founded her agency, which got off to a shaky start with only six clients in the first four months.
Before visiting her office most clients called to inquire how the service works, she recalled.
They are required to bring pictures of themselves, fill out a form — giving name, sex, date of birth, height, weight, skin color, address, marital status, occupation and hobbies — and deposit a registration fee equivalent to about $20.
Then the applicant needs to sign an agreement attesting to the truthfulness of his or her personal information and releasing the firm of any responsibility if their relationship does not work out.
If a female client is too shy to come to her office to fill out the form, Seng Leakhena said, arrangements can be made to meet with her at a designated location such as a restaurant.
Then it’s a matter of waiting for Seng Leakhena to make a match and pass information about one applicant to another. Among those still biding her time is a 56-year-old woman.
‘‘She is not interested in men younger than her, and I have not yet got any male applicants of her age,’’ Seng Leakhena said.
If two applicants agree to carry on their relationship past an initial meeting, each of them has to pay an additional fee of about $30.
Prak Seng Lim, 28, who was introduced through the service to the woman who became his wife, said the service does not mean the old ways are neglected.
8 comments:
The dating service is a form of housewife prostitution!
what a great idea! too bad i didn't come up with it first. one way to save the khmers from marrying the jerks from the West. given the high demands, leakhena will be rich. good luck to all the couples. - pukeko
Whoever wants to hold on tight to our tradition hold on to it. Whoever doesn't to, set them free.
I predict that will be more similar agents coming in the future. There will be people that will always respect our tradition and stay true to it.
Good luck to all who want to be an entrepreneur and those who look for true partner.
If the government is too dumb to impose tax and regulate business's registration, let them drawn. Those government are stupid anyway!!!!!
Yes! the bitch leakhena will be rich from finding new fresh meat to satisfy her clients!
What happen to all those Cambodian tradition? What happen to all those love at first sight? What happen to all those flirtation and getting to know your mate with flowers,foods, and gift?
There should be romance and memory involved in any love. Just a simple hook up through dating agency spoil everything because love for sale! The offsprings from these date service couple will inherit wholesale or bargain basement love and it will be bad for society.
I don't see anything wrong with this at all. It's a just an introduction for people to start meeting and getting to know one another. IF they fall in LOVE... good for them both.. Mr. 12:14pm I disagreed with you about love at first sight. Isn't meeting and seeing someone new the first times, and falling in love with that person, constitute the meaning of Love at first sigjt???
To 12:14p.m
Are you sick?
Life is too short. Please lift your spirit and your head up and look at the great big sky and see why it was blue?
WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD!!!!!!!!not a joke, but true. Many of us find happiness under the sun, while other drill in the dark and from the past.
Perhaps, this DATING BUSINESS will even make our tradition even stronger. You're for example, is dead set against it and perhaps may be you are the one that will be able to pioneer in our tradition.. Propose it to the governmemt, create a national holidays for remembering our tradition. Do some thing more offence that will make us treasure our tradition during our life time. You see, there is more than one way to get to the other side of the river.
I don't hate you or look down on you in any way. I just think that you are different and you are mad, because you haven't, yet find a better way to deal with it. You will find one and please do with a Godly heart.
To 10:26 PM
Like they said, you don't know a person until you live with that person!
I don't see how can anyone find out the truth about another person history through dating. For me, dating service is nothing more than a car dealership! If I want to buy a car I have to test drive the car first! I guess women are no different than that of a car and I have to test drive with every woman before I even say yes! ahahahah By then, I will be having so much fun and I don't even consider settle down! Too many choices and too many opportunities why do I even need to settle down?
To me, the dating service will paint a very bad picture of women in general because it involve money. Women became an object of desire and lust. I certainly don't want to see my future wife in a lustful way. I want to see my future wife as being beautiful, kind hearted, and very intelligence. She can bring the harmony and good understanding between family members in the house. She and I can become one person in anything we do in life.
I am sitting and wait for God to answer my pray. ahahahah!
^^ you are a stupid man! please get some helps. all you said simply implied that women should not have a choice to pick her partner. just because a woman goes on date, she must fuck him?
please get your head and heart check.
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