Gael Dussault sits with her children Sage, 6, left; Lexxi, 8, back, and Nia, 11, in their Leominster home. (T&G Staff/RICK CINCLAIR)Sunday, May 13, 2007
Leominster woman’s trips to China and Cambodia made motherhood dream come true
By Anna Griffin
TELEGRAM & GAZETTE STAFF (Worcester, Mass., USA)
“It’s been all for the good,” said Ms. Dussault, a computer company executive who is single, about her decision a decade ago to adopt a baby girl from China. Her daughter Nia is now 11 years old and in the fifth grade at Samoset Middle School in Leominster. She was 13 months old when Ms. Dussault adopted her in 1997 from an orphanage in the Jiangxi Province.
In 1999, Ms. Dussault returned to the same province to adopt Alexxa, called Lexxi by her family. Lexxi is now 8 years old and in the second grade at Fall Brook School in Leominster.
Then, in 2001, Ms. Dussault traveled to Cambodia to adopt her son, Sage. He was 10 months old. Today, he is 6 years old and a first-grader at Fall Brook School in Leominster.
Ms. Dussault is among a growing number of parents, single and married, who are adopting children from foreign countries. Between 1995 and 2005, the number of international adoptions by United States residents grew annually at a significantly greater pace than domestic adoptions. International adoptions nearly tripled, from 8,987 in 1995 to 22,728 in 2005, while domestic adoptions doubled, from 25,693 to 51,691. Domestic adoptions in Massachusetts dropped 25 percent over the decade, from 1,073 to 832.
During an interview in her Leominster home, Ms. Dussault watched as her three children gleefully bounced around her on the large sectional sofa in their living room. “What was I thinking?” she said.
But then she quickly added, “Best decision I have ever made was to become a mom.”
When she decided to adopt, Ms. Dussault was 46 years old. “I never wanted to get married because I didn’t want to give up my freedom or control. Now I don’t have either one, but my life is so much better. I can’t imagine it any other way.”
She chose international adoption because she felt it afforded her the best opportunity, as a single person, to adopt.
“I don’t know what it’s like to adopt domestically now,” she said. “When I was going through the process, I just thought it would be easier for me to adopt from overseas. I also knew someone at work who adopted a child from China and I spoke with her. Something inside of me just pushed me toward this.
“When a child comes into your life, suddenly you realize, there are children in this world,” she said. “Your entire view of the world changes dramatically. Suddenly, it’s not all about you.”
Ms. Dussault shares many of the same frustrations that mothers around the world have. It’s not so much that there isn’t enough time to do everything she wants to do, but is there time enough to do everything for her children?
“There’s never enough time for everything,” said Maria Cupo, owner and director of Piccolo Mondo Child Care and Learning Center in Leominster. Mrs. Cupo has known Ms. Dussault since she adopted Nia. “That’s a concern I think every parent has,” she said. “But Gael has done a wonderful job with her children.”
Ms. Dussault said Mrs. Cupo’s expertise helped her over some of the rough spots as she built her family. “I don’t know what I would have done without her,” said Ms. Dussault. “I still call her.”
“Yes, she does still call me with questions, but you know, every parent that is raising a child has questions, and it all goes along with having a family,” Mrs. Cupo said. “A good parent always feels as if they’re not doing enough for their family, and she’s a good parent. All you have to do is to meet her children to see that she’s doing a great job.”
Nia loves music, takes flute lessons and participated in the recent middle school production of “High School Musical.” Lexxi is described by her mother as a social butterfly. “She’s the comedian of the family,” Ms. Dussault said. “Sage is an independent thinker, a computer whiz, and full of energy,” she said. “He keeps all three of us running.”
Ms. Dussault said each adoption brought its own set of challenges, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. “Why did I keep adopting? Because I had to. I just had to have these children in my life,” she said.
Celebrities such as Angelina Jolie and Madonna, who have made headlines when they adopted children from other countries, have helped bring adoption to the forefront, Ms. Dussault said. “There are children who need families. I am glad, in a way, that this issue is getting the attention it deserves. Maybe it will cause people to start thinking about adoption.”
“We have seen an increase in the numbers of people looking to adopt children from other countries,” said Vickie Peterson, executive director of external affairs for Wide Horizons for Children. The agency has an office in Waltham. Ms. Dussault used the agency, which has placed more than 9,500 children since its founding in 1974, for her three adoptions.
Ms. Dussault said the average cost of each adoption was $20,000 to $25,000, including agency fees, costs to have government forms processed, legal fees, travel, home study and related expenses.
“I think parents look toward international adoptions because they have a better idea of what the timetable will be,” Ms. Peterson said.
“Like many agencies, we have all types of programs that people can access before, during and after the adoption takes place,” she said. “One thing about adoption is, you do have a tremendous support system in place. You don’t go through the process alone.”
That is also true of domestic adoptions, according to Lisa Funaro, executive director of the Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange of Boston and Springfield. The nonprofit organization is partially funded by the Massachusetts Department of Social Services and focuses on placing children who are in DSS custody, from birth to age 18, into adoptive homes. Since its founding in 1957, more than 5,000 children have been placed.
“Support is available for those looking to adopt, even economic support. There are no fees associated with adoption through MARE,” Ms. Funaro said. Her agency estimates that, each day in the state, there are 600 children looking for an adoptive family. “You can make a tremendous difference in the life of one of those children,” she said.
Adoption creates families, she said.
“Without adoption, I wouldn’t have these three wonderful children. I can’t imagine my life without Nia, Lexxi and Sage,” Ms. Dussault said.
There are sacrifices, of course. Ms. Dussault said she used to love reading, working out, going to the movies and going out to great restaurants. But no more. There simply isn’t enough time. “The last adult movie I saw was ‘Titanic,’ ” she said.
Nia was recently curious about whether her mother had a boyfriend. “She had heard from other kids in school that sometimes single parents don’t tell their children they are seeing someone until the relationship gets serious. When she asked me, I told her, ‘When do I have time to have a boyfriend?’ ” Ms. Dussault said.
“There are days when I am so tired; if Richard Gere showed up at my front door, I would ask him to please take out the garbage and then leave,” she said.
One thing that she has not given up is her love for traveling. She has traveled with the children to Florida, Aruba and Jamaica. Summer vacations to Maine, New York and New Hampshire are also shared with her children.
Ms. Dussault has worked in the computer industry for 24 years, first for Digital Equipment Corp. and then for Compaq, when it bought Digital. Now she works for Hewlett-Packard Co., where she is a worldwide executive communications manager.
“I can’t say enough about HP,” she said. “My work, my friends, and especially my family have all come together to help me realize my dream of having a family.”
And of course on Mother’s Day, there are three other people she will be thinking about. “I’ll be thinking about the three women who gave me these beautiful children. They gave me a chance at the family I always wanted. I don’t just think about them on Mother’s Day, but every day my children and I take another step in this incredible journey.”
Contact reporter Anna Griffin by e-mail at agriffin@telegram.com.
By Anna Griffin
TELEGRAM & GAZETTE STAFF (Worcester, Mass., USA)
"Without adoption, I wouldn’t have these three wonderful children. I can’t imagine my life without Nia, Lexxi and Sage." - Gael Dussault of LEOMINSTERA Plane trip changed Gael Dussault’s life in ways that she never could have imagined and set her on what she characterizes as “an incredible journey.”
“It’s been all for the good,” said Ms. Dussault, a computer company executive who is single, about her decision a decade ago to adopt a baby girl from China. Her daughter Nia is now 11 years old and in the fifth grade at Samoset Middle School in Leominster. She was 13 months old when Ms. Dussault adopted her in 1997 from an orphanage in the Jiangxi Province.
In 1999, Ms. Dussault returned to the same province to adopt Alexxa, called Lexxi by her family. Lexxi is now 8 years old and in the second grade at Fall Brook School in Leominster.
Then, in 2001, Ms. Dussault traveled to Cambodia to adopt her son, Sage. He was 10 months old. Today, he is 6 years old and a first-grader at Fall Brook School in Leominster.
Ms. Dussault is among a growing number of parents, single and married, who are adopting children from foreign countries. Between 1995 and 2005, the number of international adoptions by United States residents grew annually at a significantly greater pace than domestic adoptions. International adoptions nearly tripled, from 8,987 in 1995 to 22,728 in 2005, while domestic adoptions doubled, from 25,693 to 51,691. Domestic adoptions in Massachusetts dropped 25 percent over the decade, from 1,073 to 832.
During an interview in her Leominster home, Ms. Dussault watched as her three children gleefully bounced around her on the large sectional sofa in their living room. “What was I thinking?” she said.
But then she quickly added, “Best decision I have ever made was to become a mom.”
When she decided to adopt, Ms. Dussault was 46 years old. “I never wanted to get married because I didn’t want to give up my freedom or control. Now I don’t have either one, but my life is so much better. I can’t imagine it any other way.”
She chose international adoption because she felt it afforded her the best opportunity, as a single person, to adopt.
“I don’t know what it’s like to adopt domestically now,” she said. “When I was going through the process, I just thought it would be easier for me to adopt from overseas. I also knew someone at work who adopted a child from China and I spoke with her. Something inside of me just pushed me toward this.
“When a child comes into your life, suddenly you realize, there are children in this world,” she said. “Your entire view of the world changes dramatically. Suddenly, it’s not all about you.”
Ms. Dussault shares many of the same frustrations that mothers around the world have. It’s not so much that there isn’t enough time to do everything she wants to do, but is there time enough to do everything for her children?
“There’s never enough time for everything,” said Maria Cupo, owner and director of Piccolo Mondo Child Care and Learning Center in Leominster. Mrs. Cupo has known Ms. Dussault since she adopted Nia. “That’s a concern I think every parent has,” she said. “But Gael has done a wonderful job with her children.”
Ms. Dussault said Mrs. Cupo’s expertise helped her over some of the rough spots as she built her family. “I don’t know what I would have done without her,” said Ms. Dussault. “I still call her.”
“Yes, she does still call me with questions, but you know, every parent that is raising a child has questions, and it all goes along with having a family,” Mrs. Cupo said. “A good parent always feels as if they’re not doing enough for their family, and she’s a good parent. All you have to do is to meet her children to see that she’s doing a great job.”
Nia loves music, takes flute lessons and participated in the recent middle school production of “High School Musical.” Lexxi is described by her mother as a social butterfly. “She’s the comedian of the family,” Ms. Dussault said. “Sage is an independent thinker, a computer whiz, and full of energy,” she said. “He keeps all three of us running.”
Ms. Dussault said each adoption brought its own set of challenges, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. “Why did I keep adopting? Because I had to. I just had to have these children in my life,” she said.
Celebrities such as Angelina Jolie and Madonna, who have made headlines when they adopted children from other countries, have helped bring adoption to the forefront, Ms. Dussault said. “There are children who need families. I am glad, in a way, that this issue is getting the attention it deserves. Maybe it will cause people to start thinking about adoption.”
“We have seen an increase in the numbers of people looking to adopt children from other countries,” said Vickie Peterson, executive director of external affairs for Wide Horizons for Children. The agency has an office in Waltham. Ms. Dussault used the agency, which has placed more than 9,500 children since its founding in 1974, for her three adoptions.
Ms. Dussault said the average cost of each adoption was $20,000 to $25,000, including agency fees, costs to have government forms processed, legal fees, travel, home study and related expenses.
“I think parents look toward international adoptions because they have a better idea of what the timetable will be,” Ms. Peterson said.
“Like many agencies, we have all types of programs that people can access before, during and after the adoption takes place,” she said. “One thing about adoption is, you do have a tremendous support system in place. You don’t go through the process alone.”
That is also true of domestic adoptions, according to Lisa Funaro, executive director of the Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange of Boston and Springfield. The nonprofit organization is partially funded by the Massachusetts Department of Social Services and focuses on placing children who are in DSS custody, from birth to age 18, into adoptive homes. Since its founding in 1957, more than 5,000 children have been placed.
“Support is available for those looking to adopt, even economic support. There are no fees associated with adoption through MARE,” Ms. Funaro said. Her agency estimates that, each day in the state, there are 600 children looking for an adoptive family. “You can make a tremendous difference in the life of one of those children,” she said.
Adoption creates families, she said.
“Without adoption, I wouldn’t have these three wonderful children. I can’t imagine my life without Nia, Lexxi and Sage,” Ms. Dussault said.
There are sacrifices, of course. Ms. Dussault said she used to love reading, working out, going to the movies and going out to great restaurants. But no more. There simply isn’t enough time. “The last adult movie I saw was ‘Titanic,’ ” she said.
Nia was recently curious about whether her mother had a boyfriend. “She had heard from other kids in school that sometimes single parents don’t tell their children they are seeing someone until the relationship gets serious. When she asked me, I told her, ‘When do I have time to have a boyfriend?’ ” Ms. Dussault said.
“There are days when I am so tired; if Richard Gere showed up at my front door, I would ask him to please take out the garbage and then leave,” she said.
One thing that she has not given up is her love for traveling. She has traveled with the children to Florida, Aruba and Jamaica. Summer vacations to Maine, New York and New Hampshire are also shared with her children.
Ms. Dussault has worked in the computer industry for 24 years, first for Digital Equipment Corp. and then for Compaq, when it bought Digital. Now she works for Hewlett-Packard Co., where she is a worldwide executive communications manager.
“I can’t say enough about HP,” she said. “My work, my friends, and especially my family have all come together to help me realize my dream of having a family.”
And of course on Mother’s Day, there are three other people she will be thinking about. “I’ll be thinking about the three women who gave me these beautiful children. They gave me a chance at the family I always wanted. I don’t just think about them on Mother’s Day, but every day my children and I take another step in this incredible journey.”
Contact reporter Anna Griffin by e-mail at agriffin@telegram.com.
1 comment:
Congratulation for adopting all these wonderful children. These children won't abandon you when they grow up. Most Asian children always look after their parents after their parents get old.
They bring you joy after coming from work. I have my own 3 children and they're all born in the state. I will take them to see Cambodia when they grow up to let them know and learn how the Cambodian children live.
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