Sunday, May 6, 2007By Mark Patinkin
The Providence Journal (Providence, Rhode Island, USA)
Last week, in marches across the country, there were loud voices again in the debate about illegal immigration. It made me want to seek out one of the voices seldom heard.
I found her at the small business she owns on the East Side of Providence. It’s called Citi Nails. It offers manicuring services. She has four employees.
She is known as Christina Chhay, but her real first name is Phaly, pronounced “Polly.” She is 39, was born in Cambodia, and has three sons, one grown and working, one at St. Matthew’s in Cranston and the youngest, 8, at Providence’s Wheeler School. They’ve received some scholarship help, but it is still expensive. It is why Phaly works 12 hours a day and six days a week.
She says it is worth it. She says there is no better place than America.
She was only 8 when the Khmer Rouge took over Cambodia in 1975. I had read about how children were separated from their parents, but Phaly was the first to relate it to me personally. She was made to work in rice fields, apart from her family, who were in forced labor a mile or more away.
“No school,” Phaly told me, “not enough food, work in the rain.” On rare occasions, she would spot her mother at a nearby field. She remembers waving, and weeping.
She lived like that for four years until the Khmer Rouge were driven off in 1979.
She was reunited with her mom, her sister, and two older brothers, but their father had been taken elsewhere.
Afraid the Khmer might come back, they joined a group who knew the way through jungle to a refugee camp in Thailand. It took them three days and nights to walk there.
The camp, mostly tents, was crowded with thousands of Cambodians. After a few months, they were bused to an even bigger camp, where they lived in cramped shelters along with displaced Vietnamese, Hmong and others.
Everyone’s hope was to find a host country, America being the ideal, but it was impossible to just go. They needed to find a sponsoring family, and agencies willing to help.
It took four years. Throughout, the camp was their home.
I asked Phaly if she would have snuck into a country like the U.S. had she had the chance.
“I want to do it the right way,” she said.
Finally, friends from the camp made it to a place called Rhode Island, and agreed to sponsor the family. Relief workers helped with paperwork. A local church in Rhode Island stepped up to find them housing.
By way of Alaska and Chicago, they flew to Rhode Island and moved into half of a small house in South Providence. Her brothers shared one bedroom, she and her mom shared another and her sister, who by then had a baby, got the third.
At 16, Phaly entered 10th grade at Central High School. She had to struggle with English.
Her eldest brother, who was 21, got a factory job to support the family. But there wasn’t enough money, so soon, her other brother left Mount Pleasant High to get a factory job himself.
Then, to help make ends meet, Phaly did the same. In time, she took a vocational class to learn word-processing. It got her a teller’s job at the Citizen’s Bank near Central High. She would sometimes look across and think how she had hoped to continue in school.
It took years to become a U.S. citizen. Today, she is proud to say she is American.
Phaly began after-hours classes at CCRI, but had to stop. By then, she had her first child. Her husband, who she calls a good father, is unable to work.
Four years ago, Phaly left her teller’s job to open Citi Nails.
“To take a chance,” she explained. “To do better for your family.”
I asked what she likes to do in her spare time.
“I don’t do much for myself,” she said. She works from 8 a.m. to 8 at night, every day but Tuesday. When she does have free hours, she simply likes to be with her family.
Your children are important to you?
“I would do anything in the world for my children,” Phaly said.
In all her time here, she has not been able to afford a real vacation. She hopes some day to make it to Disney World, but she doesn’t know when that might be.
Phaly Chhay has now been in America 24 years. She has never gone back to Cambodia.
“This is home,” she said.
I noticed her glancing at the clock. Politely, she told me she needed to go back to work.
It may well be true that we need to give more understanding to those who came to this country illegally.
But I thought, just for these few moments, you’d want to hear the story of one woman who has followed the rules.
mpatinkin@projo.com
I found her at the small business she owns on the East Side of Providence. It’s called Citi Nails. It offers manicuring services. She has four employees.
She is known as Christina Chhay, but her real first name is Phaly, pronounced “Polly.” She is 39, was born in Cambodia, and has three sons, one grown and working, one at St. Matthew’s in Cranston and the youngest, 8, at Providence’s Wheeler School. They’ve received some scholarship help, but it is still expensive. It is why Phaly works 12 hours a day and six days a week.
She says it is worth it. She says there is no better place than America.
She was only 8 when the Khmer Rouge took over Cambodia in 1975. I had read about how children were separated from their parents, but Phaly was the first to relate it to me personally. She was made to work in rice fields, apart from her family, who were in forced labor a mile or more away.
“No school,” Phaly told me, “not enough food, work in the rain.” On rare occasions, she would spot her mother at a nearby field. She remembers waving, and weeping.
She lived like that for four years until the Khmer Rouge were driven off in 1979.
She was reunited with her mom, her sister, and two older brothers, but their father had been taken elsewhere.
Afraid the Khmer might come back, they joined a group who knew the way through jungle to a refugee camp in Thailand. It took them three days and nights to walk there.
The camp, mostly tents, was crowded with thousands of Cambodians. After a few months, they were bused to an even bigger camp, where they lived in cramped shelters along with displaced Vietnamese, Hmong and others.
Everyone’s hope was to find a host country, America being the ideal, but it was impossible to just go. They needed to find a sponsoring family, and agencies willing to help.
It took four years. Throughout, the camp was their home.
I asked Phaly if she would have snuck into a country like the U.S. had she had the chance.
“I want to do it the right way,” she said.
Finally, friends from the camp made it to a place called Rhode Island, and agreed to sponsor the family. Relief workers helped with paperwork. A local church in Rhode Island stepped up to find them housing.
By way of Alaska and Chicago, they flew to Rhode Island and moved into half of a small house in South Providence. Her brothers shared one bedroom, she and her mom shared another and her sister, who by then had a baby, got the third.
At 16, Phaly entered 10th grade at Central High School. She had to struggle with English.
Her eldest brother, who was 21, got a factory job to support the family. But there wasn’t enough money, so soon, her other brother left Mount Pleasant High to get a factory job himself.
Then, to help make ends meet, Phaly did the same. In time, she took a vocational class to learn word-processing. It got her a teller’s job at the Citizen’s Bank near Central High. She would sometimes look across and think how she had hoped to continue in school.
It took years to become a U.S. citizen. Today, she is proud to say she is American.
Phaly began after-hours classes at CCRI, but had to stop. By then, she had her first child. Her husband, who she calls a good father, is unable to work.
Four years ago, Phaly left her teller’s job to open Citi Nails.
“To take a chance,” she explained. “To do better for your family.”
I asked what she likes to do in her spare time.
“I don’t do much for myself,” she said. She works from 8 a.m. to 8 at night, every day but Tuesday. When she does have free hours, she simply likes to be with her family.
Your children are important to you?
“I would do anything in the world for my children,” Phaly said.
In all her time here, she has not been able to afford a real vacation. She hopes some day to make it to Disney World, but she doesn’t know when that might be.
Phaly Chhay has now been in America 24 years. She has never gone back to Cambodia.
“This is home,” she said.
I noticed her glancing at the clock. Politely, she told me she needed to go back to work.
It may well be true that we need to give more understanding to those who came to this country illegally.
But I thought, just for these few moments, you’d want to hear the story of one woman who has followed the rules.
mpatinkin@projo.com
1 comment:
She is very good and caring mother.
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