By Theary C. SENGExecutive Director, Center for Social Development
Phnom Penh Post, Issue 17 / 04, February 22 - March 6, 2008
In this culture where we worship money, brute power, materialism, where form, posturing and external appearance pass for dignity and meaning, it should not be surprising then if society defines "success"—through words or action—as the pursuit and obtainment of these things.
However, permit me to be a social contrarian and posit alternative, less glamorous perspectives.
Success is the ability to see things in their true light. It is to know that one's worth derives not a cent from another's derision and even less from another's praise. To accept the latter is to accept it at the full venom of the former. Clarence Darrow states it another way: one shouldn't take either gratification or disappointment too seriously.
Rather, success is the realization of one's inherent value as drawn solely, completely in being made in the image of God. It is the ability to discern strength in gentleness and kindness and the courage to pursue them.
Success is the integrity to stand up to injustice and say "Enough!" at the expense of one's reputation and well-being. In speaking truth to power, mental poise shields one from the spin doctors and all other machinations of character assassination because one's actions are not guided by the opinions of the fickle and gossip-prone public; rather, a reasoned conscience directs one's path.
Success is longsuffering. It is a virtue that is obtained only through the actual experience of waiting. Amidst the waiting hope dwells. Twinned to long-suffering (or patience) is forbearance, the ability to show mercy and love amidst being wronged.
St. Augustine, in The City of God (Book I, Chapter 9) speaks of suffering. "… the fire which makes gold shine makes chaff smoke; the same flail breaks up the straw, and clears the grain… Thus, the wicked, under pressure of affliction, execrate God and blaspheme; the good, in the same affliction, offer prayers and praises. This shows that what matters is the nature of the sufferer, not the nature of sufferings. Stir a cesspit, and a foul stench arises; stir a perfume, and a delightful fragrance ascends. But the movement is identical."
Success is the refusal to succumb to one's circumstances. But success is more than the refusal to succumb. It is living with passion, with exuberance, with meaning.
Success is to let go of the past, to live in the present, and to build for the future. Certainly, it is important to know and learn from history. However, I see Cambodians' inclination to dwell on the past counter-productive in two ways.
First, we Khmers euphorically and intently focus on the glory of the Angkor period and pay scant attention on working in the present and future. Don't misunderstand me; I am first among Khmer admirers. But let us not be trapped by past illusions; there's much work to be done presently that requires our full mental exertion.
Second, we Khmers are psychologically scarred by the evil unleashed by the Khmer Rouge. Let us face this dark period of history straight-on—by seeing it for what it is, dealing with it privately, and holding the perpetrators to justice publicly. Let us not see ourselves as victims of past evils to justify our present state of malignity; we need not be the products of our environment; the ability to love is always within us. We need to want it, to reach for it. It hurts my ears to hear the oft-repeated justification for corruption, "In Cambodia, one must learn to flow with the meandering river in order to survive and get anything done.”
Success is to be sure-footed and not wince in the face of intimidation. It is to realize that intimidation is nothing other than insecurity disguised as authority. Success is freedom of the soul. It is to chip away at that overwhelming sense of hopelessness imposed by poverty, by tradition, by social expectations, by institutions, by history, by unjust laws, by one's own self.
Life functions on two levels simultaneously, on a social and an individual plane. On the social level, institutions and laws proscribe our activities. Individually, our mind proscribes our limitations.
It is disingenuous to think that our individual choices are not informed by societal laws and institutional constructs, in particular, as beneficiaries of these laws. Alternatively, it is as disingenuous to ignore the uniqueness and ability of each individual to make choices and be held accountable for his choices.
We must be held accountable for the choices we do make, but we must also be mindful that not every choice has the same quality.
Theory must be tempered with reality, justice with mercy.
This should be a sobering reminder to all of us who too easily believe that we have achieved all by our own individual merit.
This said, the external environmental factors do shape the development of one's mind, but they do not necessarily have to be proscriptions absent the individual's permission.
Freedom of the soul finds root in this mental poise.
Success deletes from one's thinking that 'philosophy of the stop sign'. No. Don't. Can't. Yield.
Success moves one from self-pity and envy to gratitude
Success is the training of the mind to meditate on what is praiseworthy, excellent, right, true, pure, lovely, admirable, and noble.
It is to understand that the pursuit of these qualities takes place in the shadow of appearances, posturing, and the aggressiveness of every day commonalities.
Because things are not what they seem, generosity of spirit and love must be present at all times, but they must exist within a definite boundary. Growth of character corresponds with the ability to ever expand this boundary. Let others call it naivete, but naivete functions in ignorance with no boundary. At some point in time, enough is enough and it must be called.
Success is to know and not care whether someone else knows that you know. It has no room for pride.
However, permit me to be a social contrarian and posit alternative, less glamorous perspectives.
Success is the ability to see things in their true light. It is to know that one's worth derives not a cent from another's derision and even less from another's praise. To accept the latter is to accept it at the full venom of the former. Clarence Darrow states it another way: one shouldn't take either gratification or disappointment too seriously.
Rather, success is the realization of one's inherent value as drawn solely, completely in being made in the image of God. It is the ability to discern strength in gentleness and kindness and the courage to pursue them.
Success is the integrity to stand up to injustice and say "Enough!" at the expense of one's reputation and well-being. In speaking truth to power, mental poise shields one from the spin doctors and all other machinations of character assassination because one's actions are not guided by the opinions of the fickle and gossip-prone public; rather, a reasoned conscience directs one's path.
Success is longsuffering. It is a virtue that is obtained only through the actual experience of waiting. Amidst the waiting hope dwells. Twinned to long-suffering (or patience) is forbearance, the ability to show mercy and love amidst being wronged.
St. Augustine, in The City of God (Book I, Chapter 9) speaks of suffering. "… the fire which makes gold shine makes chaff smoke; the same flail breaks up the straw, and clears the grain… Thus, the wicked, under pressure of affliction, execrate God and blaspheme; the good, in the same affliction, offer prayers and praises. This shows that what matters is the nature of the sufferer, not the nature of sufferings. Stir a cesspit, and a foul stench arises; stir a perfume, and a delightful fragrance ascends. But the movement is identical."
Success is the refusal to succumb to one's circumstances. But success is more than the refusal to succumb. It is living with passion, with exuberance, with meaning.
Success is to let go of the past, to live in the present, and to build for the future. Certainly, it is important to know and learn from history. However, I see Cambodians' inclination to dwell on the past counter-productive in two ways.
First, we Khmers euphorically and intently focus on the glory of the Angkor period and pay scant attention on working in the present and future. Don't misunderstand me; I am first among Khmer admirers. But let us not be trapped by past illusions; there's much work to be done presently that requires our full mental exertion.
Second, we Khmers are psychologically scarred by the evil unleashed by the Khmer Rouge. Let us face this dark period of history straight-on—by seeing it for what it is, dealing with it privately, and holding the perpetrators to justice publicly. Let us not see ourselves as victims of past evils to justify our present state of malignity; we need not be the products of our environment; the ability to love is always within us. We need to want it, to reach for it. It hurts my ears to hear the oft-repeated justification for corruption, "In Cambodia, one must learn to flow with the meandering river in order to survive and get anything done.”
Success is to be sure-footed and not wince in the face of intimidation. It is to realize that intimidation is nothing other than insecurity disguised as authority. Success is freedom of the soul. It is to chip away at that overwhelming sense of hopelessness imposed by poverty, by tradition, by social expectations, by institutions, by history, by unjust laws, by one's own self.
Life functions on two levels simultaneously, on a social and an individual plane. On the social level, institutions and laws proscribe our activities. Individually, our mind proscribes our limitations.
It is disingenuous to think that our individual choices are not informed by societal laws and institutional constructs, in particular, as beneficiaries of these laws. Alternatively, it is as disingenuous to ignore the uniqueness and ability of each individual to make choices and be held accountable for his choices.
We must be held accountable for the choices we do make, but we must also be mindful that not every choice has the same quality.
Theory must be tempered with reality, justice with mercy.
This should be a sobering reminder to all of us who too easily believe that we have achieved all by our own individual merit.
This said, the external environmental factors do shape the development of one's mind, but they do not necessarily have to be proscriptions absent the individual's permission.
Freedom of the soul finds root in this mental poise.
Success deletes from one's thinking that 'philosophy of the stop sign'. No. Don't. Can't. Yield.
Success moves one from self-pity and envy to gratitude
Success is the training of the mind to meditate on what is praiseworthy, excellent, right, true, pure, lovely, admirable, and noble.
It is to understand that the pursuit of these qualities takes place in the shadow of appearances, posturing, and the aggressiveness of every day commonalities.
Because things are not what they seem, generosity of spirit and love must be present at all times, but they must exist within a definite boundary. Growth of character corresponds with the ability to ever expand this boundary. Let others call it naivete, but naivete functions in ignorance with no boundary. At some point in time, enough is enough and it must be called.
Success is to know and not care whether someone else knows that you know. It has no room for pride.
49 comments:
However respectable the ideal, this text is tedious reading. A perfect example of lack of mastery of english.
Learn to be concise through precision in the words used and maybe the reader will read what has been written to the end.
On a personal level, I think that these Christian notions of being created in the image of God is uncalled for. Buddhism taught us values way before christianity showed up. Refrain from these envangelical incantations......for God's sake!.
This bitch is certainly know how to kowtow her Western son-of-bitches and categorically prevaricates to the international community aiming to further her cause (not the Cambodian public), yet in the end proved nothing.
750pm,
Too quick to label.It takes a dog to know a bitch,so which is it fit you?
Mind is a terrible thing to have if your skull is strong enough to hold it.Judge one is too many for a wimp not a man.
Half empty and half full which is you?
Least Theary is a learned not a crude mind.That's in itself a success for her as a grain of dust originated from Cambodia.
Be respectful of free speech
7:50 is a (mofu) foreigner intruding a Khmer website for the kill. You mofu. Go and die off the earth, you damn toilet germ.
ka aek, just concentrate on your pathetic English. It sucks. You are a crow who calls a snow rabit black, you moron. Just look at your own English:
"However respectable the ideal, this text is tedious reading. A perfect example of lack of mastery of english".
Only the first two lines you wrote but it's full of errors, you stupid idiot.
Old generation Khmers needs to get used to younger generation who have been educated in the Europe and the U.S.
Guess what? Christianity has been influencing the Europe and the U.S. for centuries. These young people are also influenced by this idea. It is part of their training.
It does not hurt to try new thing; after all Cambodia has the same thing over and over again. Some one posted an article here once using Einstein's word that " doing the same thing again and again and expecting different result is call insanity."
Theary Seng is only first of many more younger educated Khmers. Get use to this.
7:50 P.M is a classic example of the the scum Hun Sen regime . I forgive your ignorance but please learn to respect other if you wanted to be respected.
What is success?
Success is when you feel you are successful! If I make 100 million dollars a year and own a big mansion and if I don't feel successful then I am not successful!
So being success is about one feel about them if they are successful or not! It is a state of mind!
I don't have to look far for an example and Hun Sen is a very good example! Ever since Hun Sen came to power and he committed corruption nonstop from top to bottom even if he has more money than he can spend in his life time and he still commit corruption! This phenomenon can only be explained that all of his possession didn't give him a peace of mind of being successful and his success will become his curse!
The bitch should not be in Cambodia in the first place. However, I feel sorry for these slaves who are supporting this baselss cause.
What more do you need? You squandered enough energy, time and money already.
These fucking slaves are so fucking pathetic. What can I say... all of you are slaves.
10:12 PM
How long have you been a Western slave?
Your English writing is disappointingly pathetic for a Western slave, would you agree?
You must have acquired your English writing skill from the ghetto neighborhood.
I really feel sorry for you and the rest of your slaves.
10:12 PM, leave ka aek alone.
His English is fine.
Success has no clear standard but based on our honest efford and merit. Can we name Hun Sen as a successful person who has earned million dollar a year from corruption? Back to the article, We appriciate Theary's knowledge as a young educator and her ability to write a graduate level text. However, she is not a good writer. A good writer is a writer who clearly knows his/her audiences' level of education and interest. In this sense, Theary's article does not appear to target the ordinary readers but it seems as targeting English professor who she has expected to grade her paper. Actually, if she wants to attract more readers to her contents, she should make her text easy and smooth to read. Although reading is our hobby, we have more difficult to read her article than most American writers'articles.
Even a 6th-grader student can easily comprehend the written article. What the hell are you talking about 'English professors' as the target audience for this writing.
What are you (author)attempting to convey here in this article writing of yours? Let go the past, yet you're digging the past and further escalate poltical turmoil in Cambodia. What have you done thus far to improve Cambodia (while the vast majority of Cambodian people are suffering), with the exception of your own selfishness and your ashamed ambition?
This is the first time EVER I've encountered such horrific writing, that does not making any sense at all. Yes, at least, in my book, this is a horrible writing. Moreover, I have to concur that this young educator is so inexpereienced writer. Perhaps I should blame her editor (s).
Holy Mary, Joseph and Jesus!
If you're Jesus Christ followers, go fuck yourself, first and foremost!
The Christian community should not be in Cambodia in the first place. In other words, take your God elsewhere!
go girlfriend, i'm with you all the way!
people, don't call yourself a democratic fighter when you can't even tolerate religious differences, let alone political differences.
I certainly don't have any problem in understanding any of the English writing KI-Media and even if the words are misspelled and the grammar are way off unless you got your sentences all backward!
Please let not use the English language as the fucken issue here! There are many styles of writing which people can use or experiment to convey their ideas to the world!
And what should be the most important issue here is the ability of one individual person to express his or her idea without being misunderstood or taking thing out of context!
By the way nobody is getting paid for putting up their writing in
KI-Media okay! So please don't ask all us to be all fucken professional unless you want to be the English teacher!
The Christians and Jewish are responsible for the world destruction. Fuck the Christians and Jewish!
Again, take your God elsewhere, you fucking losers!
Gentleman
My admiration to theary for her highly praised intention for the cause of humanity.
She, once was a victim of KR period, gets herself engaged for for vision of"for better Cambodia".
Her expression is from her heart, How to convey her message is another matter. We, in fact are not born to be perfect, however what is counted is our understanding or WISDOM. Wisdom is a non- discriminated, unlimited property that human should long for. But it opens to those who searches for Ethics/Morality.
So please stop criticising of the imperfection, but promote rather intellectual and progressive exchange.
Regards
Neang SA
Ms. Theary has successfully solicits 18; 19 responses including mine.
Whether one appreciates her piece of not, one must admit that she is well versed in the Western thoughts, and at point this in time, perhaps she does the right thing by highlight those thoughts for the benefit of the Cambodian intellectual class.
Success is to know and not care whether someone else knows that you know. It has no room for pride.
I am disagree with the above mentioned comment.
If there is no room for pride then what the author would describe about the noble prize that those noble prize recipients achieved.
It may not be the the amount of prize money but simply the pride that each noble prize recipients received but the recognition of each individual recipients has struggled in the past for a good cause whether it is for democracy [like the President and PM of East Timor who escaped recent deadly assassination attempt last week] or Al Gore the former vice president of USA who is the astute pioneer on climate change, or the astute lady of National League for Democracy in Burma [rather be under house of arrest than leaving the country to accept her noble price and attended to her husband funeral] or the past and present scientists who crate vaccine for TB, Cervical Cancer and may be the future scientists who would find cure to Alzheimer or Parkinson or HIV/Aids or may be the 1st color or 1st lady President of USA who would make the world the better place for all races to live in harmony.
In addition to Neang SA, there is one writing quote, "When a thought of war comes, oppose it by a stronger thought of peace. A thought of hatred must be destroyed by a more powerful thought of love."
As a buddhist, I don't want to see other buddhists insulting other religions. This is absolutely not what we have learnt since our infancy.
Do open your eyes to Middle-East and some other parts of the world, are the current wars partly caused by the hatred, religious intolerance?
These damn annoying idiots are persisiting in their assault. Born to be a barking dog, you idiot. A decent human born with kind heart.
To 10:17AM
What happen to you? Why are you not in assault mode?
After so many rantings by the mob, I really shouldn't post here. But to remind the author of the article and some of the posters here, success means to complete something with a positive ending. This can be either material or immaterial. Her musings are philosophical in nature and certainly sometimes off the mark. Success is certainly not the value of oneself drawn from the image of God. Non-Christians could not be successful? I personally believe the word success was used in the wrong context. It should have been gratification, self-fulfillment, contentment, or even happiness.
Theary must have bought her way in and out of law school.
How did you (Theary) manage to pass the law entrance exam? Perhaps you have used your minority status to get matriculated to law school followed by your gentle manner toward your professors. That will explain why you unable to articulate yourself through this simple writing.
Oh! One more thing: "What was your score on the bar exam?" Or, you've skipped that part and chose to be with the NGO instead?
10:17 AM
Go fuck yourself! Or, perhaps try a female dog.
A person like you should deserve to have a sharp stick stick it into your asshole.
Now, go fuck yourself, and take the rest of your clowns with you, too.
This is Jackie Moon to 12:56AM!
I noticed that you are in attack mode and you find you very sexy and very attractive and I hope to see you tonight!
1:15 AM
It certainly can be arraged! Let me know!
I changed my mind! Now, you go fuck yourself as well!
Hahahaha... LOL to read some of these losers are cursing smart girl like Theary Seng. LOL :)))))
7:50PM,
Your languages are not human languages but a son of bitch yourself. And you know what is meant? It means you mother is a Youn whore bitch.
Come to PP I will pull your neck backward ah Youn changrai.
To Theary Seng!
Your first intent to write this article for Cambodia is great, Theary. But I am really annoying that you have been trapped in the Image of God since the beginning; and you should not take this dogmaticism philosophy to instruct Cambodian peoples. Of course, I understand that you have been converted to Christian. I do hope your degree in JD law school have not influenced by your Christian congregation. Layers should not employ by exposing their own faith or personal inclination!
I have few cents to say with you, Theary.
1. St. Augustine is a Christian philosopher who tried to justify the existence of god through his logically perspective "image of god", "god give humans free will"..etc But all those arguments are nonsense nowadays. St. Augustine has no value at all for modern world because his justification war for the sake of god or what he called righteousness is gruesome. It is unbelievable that St. Augustine accepted killing others in order to protect our own interests.
2. Theary should deepen your understanding in St. Augustine's philosophy by comparing to Plato's , Aristotle's or John Locke's. These senior philosophers still have their humane conscience not to claim like this younger Augustine's.
This not to compare with Lord Buddha that his teaching is deep and incomparable with the above philosophers, especial with this dogmatic St. Augustine.
3. Your language is terribly complicate.
Best for Theary!
KY
9:32 AM
Don't worry! All of your slaves are constantly under our surveillance. Oh! You too, Theary!
Heads-up: don't make any wrong move while you're in Phnom Penh, because our famous Prey Sor prison always and gladly welcome Western slaves.
Christianity does not have a place in Cambodia.
The Cambodian people do not need missionaries to alleviate their pain and sufferings; we're fine without them (Jesus followers).
Christians and Jewish are notorious disgusting world destroyers on the face of the earth; they should be exterminated and put them out of their existence once for all.
Of course, we are aware of religious tolerance; however, when comes to Christianity, they should not belong in Cambodia. The Kingdom of Cambodia is too pure for the Mary, Joseph and Jesus' followers. Our land does not need any religious fanatics to religiously pollute our people.
Furthermore, Mary, Joseph, Jesus and the rest of followers should be in Israel (not Cambodia).
To 4:27AM!
This is Jackie Moon again. Don't worry I can understand why you have such a mood swing! You need to see your family doctor immediately because the PMS and the period are driving you crazy in wanting to see me! By the way, I suggest that you should pay more attention to your period because too much blood flowing from your knee can be dangerous!
4:23 PM
What about have it mix it with your next drink?
You should try it -- it's good for you!
Oh! Try it with noodle soup!
Now, go jerk off yourself, and fuck yourself!
7:50 PM, you may not like your mother, I think. At least, Theary is true Cambodian educated in Western Law School. Cambodian need people like her. Success or not at least she is trying. And you are not kHMER, I can tell.
4:59 PM
She (Theary) must have used her minority status to get accepted in law school, though her low score on the LSAT might not matter, which unacceptable for the white counterpart. Also, she presumably did not take her bar exam, which explains why she's with the NGO.
To 4:48PM
This is Jackie Moon again, I know how much you enjoy talking to me and I know how much you want to get on with me! Hey! We can friend you know but please don't go beyond that! Ahahhahhahah
4:59pm, it doesn't matter what you said. a college degree is a college degree, even if you are a "c" studen; it's still is a college degree earned. i think the only time one has to think about getting ace in college is if you continue to pursue a higher degree, then, for academic reasons, you have to meet certain requirements. otherwise, a degree is a degree, regardless, how low your score is; even a borderline score still earn you a degree. this is a good attitude to have like this!
Personal attack is cheap!
To 12:22AM
I am not fighting and what I am doing is not to let the stupid Khmer outshine the smart Khmer!
Let be honest even a normal relationship between the husband and wife need a some fight once awhile to make the bonding of love more stronger!
To 4:42PM
You don't know shit about getting fuck and when the time I will let you know! Aahahhahha
5:19PM, I don't know Theary
Seng as well. All I knew that she got her credential from Law
School in San Francisco. I admire so much for her thriving to make a better change not only to her career but also to the need of Cambodian people. Especially, she is a women, that is very few including Mrs. Mu Sochau. If Cambodian have a few more women represent them, I beleive in the future change in Cambodia will be much more easier. In Cambodian Culture, monk, mother, song and music are the core of promoting soldiers. So, Theary can be more trusted to the mother in Cambodia....
Your writing -- perhaps you've tried too hard, which makes you a horrible writer.
The rule of writing is to write something so that people can understand! The writers don't need to use big words or jargons!
Theary Seng is doing just fine because I understand everything in her writing!
Just another loser bitch!
By my estimation, 95% of commentators did not actually read Theary Seng's article and most of those who did missed the point anyway. The education system clearly has a long way to go.
If the article had been read, then perhaps we'd have had fewer commentators giving such ample proof of the total lack of success in their own lives - and minds.
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