Respect KI-Media Readers,
We are pleased to post below a collection of KR Survivors Stories by Justin Sok. However, due to the raw graphic description contained in the article, readers discretion is advised.
Thank you.
----------
For those who had survived the “Killing Fields”, their daily life has been haunted by the memories of those events that they had thought to be long forgotten, and all of sudden these memories began to surface, and brought back those horrible memories. They have experienced intense psychological distress, recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the events, including images, ruminating thoughts, flashbacks, anxiousness and nervousness. They are easily startled, heart palpitations, feeling sudden hot and cold sensations in their bodies, and difficulty falling and staying asleep.
Their nights are like dancing ghosts in their dreams. Their daily thinking has been like seeing the snapshots of all the events that had happened in their lives, which has appeared before them like pictures in a slow-motion filmstrip. It was as if they were describing something they had seen in a movie, a movie in graphic color that left nothing to the imagination. They knew and remembered exactly what had happened to them, and who did these atrocities to them. The descriptions of the symptoms are the classic diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
The following are some of the stories shared by the Cambodian survivors:
Case Scenario #1
When the Communists took over the country, immediately, the Khmer Rouge comrades were prodding people at gunpoint to leave their homes. I got separated from my family. My sisters, brothers, and my parents were forced to live in another village. People were dying of starvation and illnesses. The people were taken away in groups to be killed. We barely had anything to eat. During that time I had my three year-old daughter and was six or seven months pregnant. I did not have any food to feed my baby, so I asked the head of the village to spare me a little brown sugar to feed my baby. He refused my pleas. The next day, my baby died in my arms. I buried my daughter in a haystack.
A couple months had passed, and although I was in full-term pregnancy, the KR comrades still forced me to work in the fields for long hours. I was so exhausted, hungry, and was so sick, that while I was walking on the dam that the people had built for an irrigation canal, I slipped and fell into the water. I experienced severe stomach pains afterward. The next day, I had a midwife checked me, and she told me that the baby had already died, stillborn.
Early 1979, my sister and I were reunited. My sister had recapitulated about the death of our parents to me. My sister had witnessed the Khmer Rouge comrades chaining our parents together, face-to-face. The KR comrades let our parents stand under the car tire, which they had hung on the tree branch from above. They lit a car tire on fire, and let the burning flame of rubber dripping down onto our parents until they died. Even though, I was not there to save my parents, but the way my sister had painted the picture for me, I could feel the excruciating pain of what our parents had to go through. I would never forget this until the day I die. It was horrible. I had never wanted to talk about it any more.
Case Scenario #2
Late one afternoon, after long hours in the fields, digging a ditch to make an irrigation canal, one of the Khmer Rouge comrades hit the gong. They led us off for a short break. There were many of us in the original group, but they had separated us into smaller groups of about 15 people each. While we were all sitting quietly in groups under the hot sun, there were four KR comrades walking up toward our group. One of the KR comrades called out a gentleman who was sitting three men away from me. He was a big man. His gait was wobbly and slow. His facial expression was flat. We did not know the reason why he was called out. Everyone was scared and dead silent. I did not think that there was anything bad was going to happen to him.
The KR comrades walked the man away from us, approximately 20 feet from where we were sitting. All of sudden, the KR comrades were beating up on this poor man. They beat the poor man with their AK-47 rifles until he died. Then, one of the KR comrades turned to us and said, “This is what you will get if anyone of you betrays our Angkar!”
During that late afternoon, the KR comrades herded us back to the village. Once I got to my home, and because I did not have anything to eat, and I was so tired and I tried to rest. All of sudden, I heard a familiar voice calling. The KR comrades were calling on one of the gentlemen from my group. So I forced myself to get up and slipped out of the house and hid behind a haystack near by. I saw the KR comrades chained the poor man and walked him away to the forest near by. The next day, before we started our usual labor, the KR comrades informed us that, they had killed this poor man.
One day I got a message from the people in the village, that my mother who was at that time living at another village, was very sick, and needs someone to take care of her. I had asked my village chief and foreman to release me to visit my mother but they had refused. I knew my mother was dying and I had to take a chance to go see her.
On the way back to my village, two KR comrades stopped me. They were questioning me. I lied to them and told them that I had lost my cows and I have been looking for them. But they did not care because I did not have a permission slip from my village chief. So, they chained me up and hung me in the tree and let the red ants gnawed me for two days and two nights. My life was spared by one of the older KR comrades. They released me and had warned me not to go awol.
Case Scenario #3
The place where I was living, more people were dying of starvation and illnesses then the KR comrades killed. The people were eating anything that they could find – bugs, ants, tadpoles, lizards, rats, leaves, roots, etc. We combed the jungle any time we got a chance looking for any kind of edible vegetation to eat. Some of the people got poisoned and died from eating those poisonous plants. At the village, I lived close to a family who had family members died one after another due to starvation and illnesses. One day, I detected a strange odor coming out from that family’s house. The next day, I found out from another neighbor that the older brother had killed his own younger sister who was very sick and bedridden, and fried the flesh and ate it. This was a horrible memory for me.
Case Scenario #4
Before the communist Khmer Rouge took power, we were living near the Cambodian-Thai border. When the communists took over the country, many people filed across the border. It was very dangerous to attempt to cross the border. But the people felt hopeless and they had no choice. Some people had stepped on landmines and/or shot and killed by the KR comrades.
It was too dangerous for us to make any attempt for an escape, so we had to wait until the situation had calmed down. Late one afternoon, when we were planting rice in the rice paddy, we took off. Our group got separated when we reached dense jungle. I was with a smaller group. The KR comrades chased and shot at us. I heard them called out to their KR comrades, “Shoot them! Shoot them!” During our escape, I was carrying my two-year-old son, strapping him to the Sarong behind my back. When we got to the safe area, we took a short break. I felt wet in all over my back. When I checked on my son, he was already dead. My son was hit by a bullet. At that time, I felt like I did not want to live anymore. I lost all my family members. I lost all my strength. I felt so sad to cry. The few people that were there with me tried to offer their condolences and encouragement. They helped me bury my son in the middle of nowhere in the deep jungle. Then, we sneaked across the border.
Case Scenario #5
During the KR Rouge regime, my family and I were living in one of the villages in Pursat Province. It was either late 1978 or in the early 1979, and I was about 13 years old. The KR comrades were with their guns pointing every direction, moving the people into the jungle and into different locations. At the same time, mass killings had already taken place. My father knew that we were not going to survive. So he had told us about an escape plan. One early morning, my parents, my three brothers and my youngest sister, and a family from our neighborhood made an attempt to escape. We were not far before the KR comrades captured us. Once the KR comrades had caught us, they paraded us into the thick and tall grass to be killed. We were walking in line. As I was walking behind them, I sensed something. And all of sudden, it was something snatched me off the line. Up until now, I still find it is very difficult to explain.
I was hiding in the tall grass near by. The KR comrades were scrambling looking for me. I heard they said to each other, “We lost one of the boys.” After a few moments, the KR comrades gave up looking for me. They continued to parade my family and the rest of the members to a place not too far from where I was hiding. While I was hiding, I heard the sounds of their rifles and wooden sticks hitting my family members. I continued to hide in the grass until I was sure that those KR comrades were gone. I came out from the grass and walked quietly, straight to where they had killed my family members. There, I had witnessed everything. I still remember I was not shock or panic or anything like that. Both of my parents were stripped naked and were killed by wooden stick. My brothers and sister were all killed; their clothes were in tact. The other family – both husband and wife, and their three children were laid lifelessly next to one another. All of them had their arms tied to the backs.
As I was scrambling, leaping from one corpse to another looking and feeling for any sign of life, I noticed that the man was twitching. He was struggling for air – coughing and moaning. I rushed to talk to him. He was still alive. I helped untie his ropes. I carried him to hide in the different location. He got blood all over himself, and his blood was all over me. We hid in the jungle until the nightfall, and then we made our journey to escape. Before we reached to the outskirts of another village, we were chased by the Vietnamese and Khmer’s soldiers. They shot their guns upward. They thought we were the KR comrades. I had to run for my life, so I left him. Up until now, I don’t know whether he is dead or alive.
About a month had passed, I went back to the location where the KR comrades had killed my family. I still remembered everything – the dirt road, the tall grass, and the location. When I got there, I saw only the remnants of some bones. I realized I was the only one that had survived. I had to move on.
These are some of the stories that the Cambodian survivors have reflected upon their lives during the country’s recent violent past. Although Cambodian people had gone through the same “Killing Fields”, but each of them has a very unique and distinctive story to tell. Many of the Cambodian survivors spoke of this period with tears in their eyes. All most all of them broke in sobs, and some were unable to continue. There are hundreds of thousands of Cambodian victims who either would not want to share their stories because they are still afraid or because it would result in their having memories too painful to share. Their daily life is fragile, and their daily coping strategies with their chronic and ongoing psychiatric problems are so limited.
They say, “It is better late, then never.” Thirty years later, the trial to try senior leaders of the Khmer Rouge has begun. The general public, especially, the Cambodian survivors and their families, are pleading you, for your compassion and authority, to help them get “closure” by pushing the trial through so that justice can be served. We owe it to the survivors and their families. We owe it to the millions who died so they can rest in peace. We owe it to the world to hear the truth. And I owe it to my father, whom I have always admired in my heart, mind, and in my dream. Unfortunately, because of the wars, which led to the “Killing Fields,” we never had the time to share and doing normal things together as father and son always do.
Thank you.
We are pleased to post below a collection of KR Survivors Stories by Justin Sok. However, due to the raw graphic description contained in the article, readers discretion is advised.
Thank you.
----------
Survivors Stories
Justin C. Sok
May 10, 2009
May 10, 2009
For those who had survived the “Killing Fields”, their daily life has been haunted by the memories of those events that they had thought to be long forgotten, and all of sudden these memories began to surface, and brought back those horrible memories. They have experienced intense psychological distress, recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the events, including images, ruminating thoughts, flashbacks, anxiousness and nervousness. They are easily startled, heart palpitations, feeling sudden hot and cold sensations in their bodies, and difficulty falling and staying asleep.
Their nights are like dancing ghosts in their dreams. Their daily thinking has been like seeing the snapshots of all the events that had happened in their lives, which has appeared before them like pictures in a slow-motion filmstrip. It was as if they were describing something they had seen in a movie, a movie in graphic color that left nothing to the imagination. They knew and remembered exactly what had happened to them, and who did these atrocities to them. The descriptions of the symptoms are the classic diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
The following are some of the stories shared by the Cambodian survivors:
Case Scenario #1
When the Communists took over the country, immediately, the Khmer Rouge comrades were prodding people at gunpoint to leave their homes. I got separated from my family. My sisters, brothers, and my parents were forced to live in another village. People were dying of starvation and illnesses. The people were taken away in groups to be killed. We barely had anything to eat. During that time I had my three year-old daughter and was six or seven months pregnant. I did not have any food to feed my baby, so I asked the head of the village to spare me a little brown sugar to feed my baby. He refused my pleas. The next day, my baby died in my arms. I buried my daughter in a haystack.
A couple months had passed, and although I was in full-term pregnancy, the KR comrades still forced me to work in the fields for long hours. I was so exhausted, hungry, and was so sick, that while I was walking on the dam that the people had built for an irrigation canal, I slipped and fell into the water. I experienced severe stomach pains afterward. The next day, I had a midwife checked me, and she told me that the baby had already died, stillborn.
Early 1979, my sister and I were reunited. My sister had recapitulated about the death of our parents to me. My sister had witnessed the Khmer Rouge comrades chaining our parents together, face-to-face. The KR comrades let our parents stand under the car tire, which they had hung on the tree branch from above. They lit a car tire on fire, and let the burning flame of rubber dripping down onto our parents until they died. Even though, I was not there to save my parents, but the way my sister had painted the picture for me, I could feel the excruciating pain of what our parents had to go through. I would never forget this until the day I die. It was horrible. I had never wanted to talk about it any more.
Case Scenario #2
Late one afternoon, after long hours in the fields, digging a ditch to make an irrigation canal, one of the Khmer Rouge comrades hit the gong. They led us off for a short break. There were many of us in the original group, but they had separated us into smaller groups of about 15 people each. While we were all sitting quietly in groups under the hot sun, there were four KR comrades walking up toward our group. One of the KR comrades called out a gentleman who was sitting three men away from me. He was a big man. His gait was wobbly and slow. His facial expression was flat. We did not know the reason why he was called out. Everyone was scared and dead silent. I did not think that there was anything bad was going to happen to him.
The KR comrades walked the man away from us, approximately 20 feet from where we were sitting. All of sudden, the KR comrades were beating up on this poor man. They beat the poor man with their AK-47 rifles until he died. Then, one of the KR comrades turned to us and said, “This is what you will get if anyone of you betrays our Angkar!”
During that late afternoon, the KR comrades herded us back to the village. Once I got to my home, and because I did not have anything to eat, and I was so tired and I tried to rest. All of sudden, I heard a familiar voice calling. The KR comrades were calling on one of the gentlemen from my group. So I forced myself to get up and slipped out of the house and hid behind a haystack near by. I saw the KR comrades chained the poor man and walked him away to the forest near by. The next day, before we started our usual labor, the KR comrades informed us that, they had killed this poor man.
One day I got a message from the people in the village, that my mother who was at that time living at another village, was very sick, and needs someone to take care of her. I had asked my village chief and foreman to release me to visit my mother but they had refused. I knew my mother was dying and I had to take a chance to go see her.
On the way back to my village, two KR comrades stopped me. They were questioning me. I lied to them and told them that I had lost my cows and I have been looking for them. But they did not care because I did not have a permission slip from my village chief. So, they chained me up and hung me in the tree and let the red ants gnawed me for two days and two nights. My life was spared by one of the older KR comrades. They released me and had warned me not to go awol.
Case Scenario #3
The place where I was living, more people were dying of starvation and illnesses then the KR comrades killed. The people were eating anything that they could find – bugs, ants, tadpoles, lizards, rats, leaves, roots, etc. We combed the jungle any time we got a chance looking for any kind of edible vegetation to eat. Some of the people got poisoned and died from eating those poisonous plants. At the village, I lived close to a family who had family members died one after another due to starvation and illnesses. One day, I detected a strange odor coming out from that family’s house. The next day, I found out from another neighbor that the older brother had killed his own younger sister who was very sick and bedridden, and fried the flesh and ate it. This was a horrible memory for me.
Case Scenario #4
Before the communist Khmer Rouge took power, we were living near the Cambodian-Thai border. When the communists took over the country, many people filed across the border. It was very dangerous to attempt to cross the border. But the people felt hopeless and they had no choice. Some people had stepped on landmines and/or shot and killed by the KR comrades.
It was too dangerous for us to make any attempt for an escape, so we had to wait until the situation had calmed down. Late one afternoon, when we were planting rice in the rice paddy, we took off. Our group got separated when we reached dense jungle. I was with a smaller group. The KR comrades chased and shot at us. I heard them called out to their KR comrades, “Shoot them! Shoot them!” During our escape, I was carrying my two-year-old son, strapping him to the Sarong behind my back. When we got to the safe area, we took a short break. I felt wet in all over my back. When I checked on my son, he was already dead. My son was hit by a bullet. At that time, I felt like I did not want to live anymore. I lost all my family members. I lost all my strength. I felt so sad to cry. The few people that were there with me tried to offer their condolences and encouragement. They helped me bury my son in the middle of nowhere in the deep jungle. Then, we sneaked across the border.
Case Scenario #5
During the KR Rouge regime, my family and I were living in one of the villages in Pursat Province. It was either late 1978 or in the early 1979, and I was about 13 years old. The KR comrades were with their guns pointing every direction, moving the people into the jungle and into different locations. At the same time, mass killings had already taken place. My father knew that we were not going to survive. So he had told us about an escape plan. One early morning, my parents, my three brothers and my youngest sister, and a family from our neighborhood made an attempt to escape. We were not far before the KR comrades captured us. Once the KR comrades had caught us, they paraded us into the thick and tall grass to be killed. We were walking in line. As I was walking behind them, I sensed something. And all of sudden, it was something snatched me off the line. Up until now, I still find it is very difficult to explain.
I was hiding in the tall grass near by. The KR comrades were scrambling looking for me. I heard they said to each other, “We lost one of the boys.” After a few moments, the KR comrades gave up looking for me. They continued to parade my family and the rest of the members to a place not too far from where I was hiding. While I was hiding, I heard the sounds of their rifles and wooden sticks hitting my family members. I continued to hide in the grass until I was sure that those KR comrades were gone. I came out from the grass and walked quietly, straight to where they had killed my family members. There, I had witnessed everything. I still remember I was not shock or panic or anything like that. Both of my parents were stripped naked and were killed by wooden stick. My brothers and sister were all killed; their clothes were in tact. The other family – both husband and wife, and their three children were laid lifelessly next to one another. All of them had their arms tied to the backs.
As I was scrambling, leaping from one corpse to another looking and feeling for any sign of life, I noticed that the man was twitching. He was struggling for air – coughing and moaning. I rushed to talk to him. He was still alive. I helped untie his ropes. I carried him to hide in the different location. He got blood all over himself, and his blood was all over me. We hid in the jungle until the nightfall, and then we made our journey to escape. Before we reached to the outskirts of another village, we were chased by the Vietnamese and Khmer’s soldiers. They shot their guns upward. They thought we were the KR comrades. I had to run for my life, so I left him. Up until now, I don’t know whether he is dead or alive.
About a month had passed, I went back to the location where the KR comrades had killed my family. I still remembered everything – the dirt road, the tall grass, and the location. When I got there, I saw only the remnants of some bones. I realized I was the only one that had survived. I had to move on.
These are some of the stories that the Cambodian survivors have reflected upon their lives during the country’s recent violent past. Although Cambodian people had gone through the same “Killing Fields”, but each of them has a very unique and distinctive story to tell. Many of the Cambodian survivors spoke of this period with tears in their eyes. All most all of them broke in sobs, and some were unable to continue. There are hundreds of thousands of Cambodian victims who either would not want to share their stories because they are still afraid or because it would result in their having memories too painful to share. Their daily life is fragile, and their daily coping strategies with their chronic and ongoing psychiatric problems are so limited.
They say, “It is better late, then never.” Thirty years later, the trial to try senior leaders of the Khmer Rouge has begun. The general public, especially, the Cambodian survivors and their families, are pleading you, for your compassion and authority, to help them get “closure” by pushing the trial through so that justice can be served. We owe it to the survivors and their families. We owe it to the millions who died so they can rest in peace. We owe it to the world to hear the truth. And I owe it to my father, whom I have always admired in my heart, mind, and in my dream. Unfortunately, because of the wars, which led to the “Killing Fields,” we never had the time to share and doing normal things together as father and son always do.
Thank you.
14 comments:
Is any thing better article than this to publish? Persons had experiencing in that regime don't want to remind or hear it again!
All my family members except my mother were all killed when I was 7months and 1/2. My Mother struggled so hard got her own degrees and raised me in school. She said that's life and life goes on, and she never talked about it.
Since the begining of times, people fought and killed each other, this is not the first time.
Humans destroyed and they rebuild on and on. I am having a polish classmate who has a worse story to share. His grandfather escapted death at 7 years old from WWII. More than 2 million Polish women were raped and killed by Nazi men and then by Soviet army. 4-5 million more were killed, and Poland was not a big country. Sufferings are everywhere, but Khmers won't want to move on. They are trapped in the darkness.
Our Khmers see themselves in the center of the universe no one else but themselves. I am too sick and too tired to read these kind story on the same page.
I always smile when I see Khmers become successful people, but I am so sick in the stomach when I see this same story.
It appears as if everyone who had survived the "killing fields" has the numerous stories to tell.
Everyone has his and her own story to tell, not only the survivors of Killing field.
Can we Khmers move on, because the whole world is moving so fast.
Khmer stories from the Killing Fields are getting too annoyed when the world is in recession. No body cares anymore. Can we STOP?
All Cambodian people who survived the KRouge atrocity always have bad dreams of the past agony.
They are suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. These suferings vary in different person.
These include sleeplessness (insomnia), fearfulness, over protection and overreaction, frequent abnormal heart beats,and in serious conditions, mental disorder, wildness and ruthless.
These caused violence, abuse, and madness
I have these sufferings myself, and they are getting more complex for me as i am getting older. They are hard to cope with and hard to heal.
Who will compensate for the loss of mental health. We will die hard with the possession of such sufferings.
KR Victim
2:34PM.
Not who, who will compensate our sufferinsg, it is ourselves who will have to help and compensate ourselves. We are mostly Buddhists if we are really are, then meditate and learn the facts what Buddha teaches us, not just saying Oh I'm Buddhist then chant sama samputho...we have to understand we humans are all "manuss bab" Akaing or barang say "sinners".
If we are not manuss bab we are not here on earth, we may be in nirvana or "Chaul nipean" like Buddha already.
There are two things: (1)Some people are having mentally ill and (2)some people are feeling sorry for themselves (low self esteem, failure in life. blame others). The (2) is unexcusable.
I think the killing field will die out after the generation who faced the killing fields all die.
Because new generation have no experiences and so they have no memories of the killing fields whatsoever.
I hope some Khmer authors begin to write a positive things and the encouragement how to make life happier instead of this same suffering stories.
We live ONLY ONE, and if we commit more sins we will have to reborn and face another sufferings.
I hate to say this. This is how we Khmers cannot progress as a nation, because they are stucked in the same old house.
Have some of you read a 20 minutes book called "Who've moved my cheese?"
It's how to lighten up the new dark ages.
About this author Justin Sok; what does he or she think this world is for? For Khmers alone?
This is how Hun Sen becomes a dictator sonofbitch for life because we have a sonofbitch like Justin Sok can do one good thing is collecting the Killing Field stories, while yet the Vietnamese are working hard in full speed on nuke and submarines.
Are these story tellers living on welfare and their food on the tables came courtesy of the taxes of the hard working American citizen?
Justin Sok you are a sonofbitch.
a lady called Free Spy seems to have issue with everything that KI-Media has post on here. May be a lady Free Spy has her own mental health issue. Go get help!
This is politic. Personally, I think you have missed the whole point!
Kids in my town has that little book who've moved my cheese. It posted all over on the internet. I knew it and every body knew it by heart.
But that story has nothing to do with the story of Killing Fields, dude. Killing fields was the killing of lives not about changing jobs.
2:44am. It is a lady transvestite.
Lady doss koy. LOL
may be she is doss koy.
I think it is to be reminded about this painful past. But remember, it was and is still our problems. if we the children and younger general don't stand up and fight for your elders, who is going to do it for us all.
Don't be a coward like Sihanouk. He got his blood family members executed and he and not even any of his blood family come out to find justice for them. all of them (males and females) are full of shit heads - sra, srey, and greed, etc.
Doss Koy Free Spy, before you go to bed, ask your parents and/or your elders, how many medications are they currently taking for their problems - physical and as well as mental. What can you help? Should you forget it?
Don't be such a coward like your Sihanorouk!
I agree with many comments from post #1 above and to free spy. We get to stop brigning this same shit every day causing more painful to the minds. Hardship earning money is too much already. Drop that shit. I lost all my family members so stop that shit.
yes, I agree. The KR Tribunal should not be started it either. It has been too long already. People have already forgotten. Actually, it happened to my parents only. I never had any experience with those atrocity. If they tell me something, I don't want to be bother. If those people still want to find justice, they should go ahead. But i'm sure they are going to eat dust, instead.
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