Reading the Patterns of Life

First published in October 2008. In order to read the patterns of life well, I am reminded again today of St. James' letter to Christians in the 1st century -- "everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" -- in the brilliant facilitation of Caby Verzosa and Eric Henry at the workshop sponsored by the Asian Development Bank, the World Bank and the Affiliated Network for Social Accountability in the East Asia and Pacific (of which I am an Executive Committee member) here at the ADB headquarters in Manila.

A managing partner of CMPartners LLC, Eric reminded us of our biases and perspectives we bring into any situation by making this indelibly clear in our group's viewing of a video clip and asking us to focus on the number of complete basketball passes the team in white is making as another team in black is weaving among them...we were so attuned to the white team and counting their passes that we missed completely the black gorilla walking across the scene - all 9 seconds of the 29 second film; of the 40 of us in the room, only one person noticed the gorilla !!

The video serves as another wake-up call for us to be cautious of our biases and colored perceptions and to be re-reminded of the need to be open when we encounter any and all situations. We were reminded (or quickly convinced!) how each of us has an "internal voice" which is also actively at work when we encounter another person or group of people. Of course in life, we live within a set of operating assumptions (e.g. that gravity will not fail us). But certain assumptions can blind us, particularly for task-oriented individuals. The whole discussion was framed in the larger context of effective communication and negotiations. When we go into negotiations, it is important to quiet our "internal voice" in order to be able to hear more effectively what the other person is truly saying. (Meditation is one effective way to quiet the internal voice.) Especially, when there exists differences in positions, it is the more critical to check one's own impulses and position by speaking less and listening more. Normally, when there exist differences, we tend to do the opposite - by advocating harder and raising the volume.

All to say, it has been an invaluable workshop with life's lessons for me to be implemented. And through it all, may we be more wise and effective in reading the patterns of life. - thearyseng.com
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Reading the Patterns of Life

I recently addressed a conference organized by Youth for Peace in Siem Reap of 300-plus young people. I saw in their eager faces a deep thirst to know and to understand – themselves, their society and the world around them. I have seen a similar hunger and thirst for knowledge and understanding among my relatively young staff at CSD. This thirst is reflected in their daily conversations and by their pursuit of overseas trainings and night/weekend classes.

Wisdom is reading oneself, others and the world with insight and acting with integrity, writes Dr. Mark Strom.

I believe in - and aspire to - this definition of wisdom. I believe that this is what I detected at the conference and within my staff - the pursuit of wisdom. Whereas some young people are satisfied only to be filled with information that can be obtained with a formal education, these young people wanted more. This means to understand and to act on this understanding with integrity. Or if we are to apply Dr. Strom's definition, they wanted to be able to read themselves, others and the complex world around them with insight, and in doing, to act in accordance with their values and principles.

Roadblocks to wisdom

There exist many roadblocks to their pursuit of wisdom in this society. At the conference, as with my staff, I detected a deep frustration on many of their faces, underlying their deep yearning to be able to read the patterns of life to their satisfaction. I believe that this frustration stems from their inability to meet their hunger for knowledge and understanding adequately. It is as if they are living in a shroud of murkiness and entanglement, surrounded by an invisible wall of indirection, confusion, noise and overwhelming information, which remains unframed and unattached to the larger picture of life.

I empathize and sympathize with these young people because I see myself in them. Like them, I grew up with a desperate desire to understand and to make sense of myself, others and the very confusing and complex world around me. I wanted clarity and sense to replace the entanglement of my accumulated experiences of loss, trauma and the drastic, fast-paced changes of an introduction to a new American culture, and the larger globalized world. Almost 38 years later. I am still pursuing wisdom – that is, learning how to read the patterns of life in depth, and in the process, to act in accordance with the dictates of my conscience. I believe it is a pursuit which will follow me until the final hours of this life, with much more clumsiness and inelegance still abounding, I am certain.

Reading the patterns of life

I believe that to be able to read the patterns of life thoroughly and with care, honesty is first and foremost required. There must exist a genuine and deep desire to want to know and to understand. This honesty can only be tested and known by the pursuer of knowledge. False modesty, which exists too abundantly in our culture, must be extinguished. Dishonesty, even if in modesty, must be discarded. I am convinced that the truth will set us free. True honesty further requires the acknowledgement of one's own ignorance as a first step to wisdom; the ancient philosophers understood this well. We in modem times have forgotten this fundamental paradox.

Here in Cambodia, wisdom is automatically and unquestioningly equated with age and experience. I wholeheartedly believe that age allows for experiences which, when honestly and thoughtfully appraised and reflected upon, can truly serve as a beautiful tapestry and resource for the obtainment of wisdom. My grandmother Yi Hao was the embodiment of wisdom arising from age and experience.

On the other hand, because one is old does not mean that one is wise. Wisdom derived from age requires a shrewd and honest reading of life's diverse and challenging experiences, and is realized through further implementing the lessons learned in one's future actions.

The best lessons to learn come from one's own experience, and the more rich, challenging and diverse they are, the more powerful and insightful the lessons gained will be.

A diverse and broad reading of books - philosophy, biography, history, fiction etc. - will also accomplish similar goals, but only if one is reading with an eye and heart attuned to understanding. This is why I mourn the limited materials available and pervasive non-culture of reading that exists here. How are we able to see the patterns of life meaningfully and in depth, the expanding multitude of cultures and centuries of custom, if we are limited to just our own experiences?
Hierarchy of ideas

I beseech the parents, civic leaders, teachers and other policymakers to pay more careful attention to creating an enabling environment for our children to learn - not only through quality formal education but through attention to life's experiences. Policies must be developed under which creativity and imagination are encouraged and fostered, where questioning is welcomed and habitual. I have seen firsthand how the process of critical questioning and the search for truth - the Socratic-Method, most famously used in American law schools - is helpful to move on from opaque muddiness to clarity, from vagueness to precision, in thoughts and ideas. It can be deceiving to think that we are learning, and thus wiser, because of the inundation of information we experience living in this modern hi-tech age.

However, not all ideas are equal; there exists a hierarchy of thoughts and ideas - first principles, whereby other thoughts and ideas are built upon. The process of questioning and creativity/imagination will allow us to penetrate the saturation of cluttered junk into clearer thoughts and thinking.

In another column, I will address the Khmer language issue. I believe the Khmer written language particularly is in disarray, in need of updating and development as it is currently not conducive to clear expression and clear thinking.

Theary C. SENG, a member of the New York Bar Association, former director of Center for Social Development (March 2006—July 2009), founder and Board of the Center for Justice & Reconciliation (www.cjr-cambodia.org), founding adviser of the Association of Khmer Rouge Victims (www.akrvc.org), is currently writing her second book, under a grant, amidst her speaking engagements. For additional information, please visit Theary's website at thearyseng.com.