A Cambodian couple poses for their wedding day photo. Huge marriage celebrations with hundreds of people are normal here, and even newly arrived foreigners can find themselves attending numerous weddings. (Photo: Julie Masis)In Cambodia, strict social norms about marriage and a high percentage of youths adds up to a lot of wedding day celebrations. They're often seen as a way to raise cash, so everyone is invited.
April 2, 2010
By Julie Masis, Correspondent
The Christian Science Monitor
Phnom Penh, Cambodia
Westerners who move to Cambodia are likely to find themselves invited to more weddings than they would be back home. While traveling by motorcycle on a rural road for a half-hour on a recent Saturday afternoon, I passed at least five wedding tents. They are easy to spot – decorated with pink curtains, ribbons tied around chairs, and the names of the bride and groom engraved above the gate.
Hart Feuer, a researcher who has lived in the country for a year, says he has attended at least 15 weddings – including some with more than 1,000 guests and meals served in shifts.
Why so many weddings? It might have something to do with the fact that 64 percent of Cambodians are under the age of 30. And it is culturally unacceptable for Cambodian men and women to live together before marriage, says Rabbi Bentche Butman, who runs the Jewish Center of Cambodia. Another reason is financial. When attending a wedding, it is customary to give money – approximately $20. Because of that, hosts invite many people, and sometimes even people whom they have never met.
Un Chanta, a cook, recently invited all of the employees at her company to her daughter’s wedding – including some foreigners who had arrived in Cambodia just days before.
“It’s prestigious to have a Westerner at your wedding,” says Naomi Robinson, the managing editor of Cambodia-based magazine AsiaLIFE Guide. “And also you’re expected to give money – and if you’re a Westerner, you’re expected to give more.”
Whatever the reason, the enormous number of weddings can be a financial burden.
Phnom Penh college student Dorn Phok, whose monthly salary is $100, was invited to five weddings in February, of which he attended three, but sent money to all.
“When I get married," he says, "I want to make a big wedding to follow Khmer traditions and because everyone owes me money."
April 2, 2010
By Julie Masis, Correspondent
The Christian Science Monitor
Phnom Penh, Cambodia
Westerners who move to Cambodia are likely to find themselves invited to more weddings than they would be back home. While traveling by motorcycle on a rural road for a half-hour on a recent Saturday afternoon, I passed at least five wedding tents. They are easy to spot – decorated with pink curtains, ribbons tied around chairs, and the names of the bride and groom engraved above the gate.
Hart Feuer, a researcher who has lived in the country for a year, says he has attended at least 15 weddings – including some with more than 1,000 guests and meals served in shifts.
Why so many weddings? It might have something to do with the fact that 64 percent of Cambodians are under the age of 30. And it is culturally unacceptable for Cambodian men and women to live together before marriage, says Rabbi Bentche Butman, who runs the Jewish Center of Cambodia. Another reason is financial. When attending a wedding, it is customary to give money – approximately $20. Because of that, hosts invite many people, and sometimes even people whom they have never met.
Un Chanta, a cook, recently invited all of the employees at her company to her daughter’s wedding – including some foreigners who had arrived in Cambodia just days before.
“It’s prestigious to have a Westerner at your wedding,” says Naomi Robinson, the managing editor of Cambodia-based magazine AsiaLIFE Guide. “And also you’re expected to give money – and if you’re a Westerner, you’re expected to give more.”
Whatever the reason, the enormous number of weddings can be a financial burden.
Phnom Penh college student Dorn Phok, whose monthly salary is $100, was invited to five weddings in February, of which he attended three, but sent money to all.
“When I get married," he says, "I want to make a big wedding to follow Khmer traditions and because everyone owes me money."
14 comments:
yes, it's a culture thing. no comment!
Wow! That's wild.....
I don't remember the last time I invited to a wedding... must be years.. years.. ago.
12:54AM! get out more! Home a lone!
Keep inviting people and make a big wedding for yourself. Then wait until they invite you back or the restaurant owner is happy for the big money. It means more money to his pocket. The same is here in the USA. Some of them invites a lot of people. In Long Beach they even celebrate retirement party, sweet 16, high school grad, birthday party in restaurant. These folks are out of their mind. They want to show off and make a few bugs.
What is the big deal to invite foreigners to your wedding? The foreigners are cheaper than you think.
High class in Cambodia try to show off their diamond, car, clothes, and houses to the guests. They treat themselves the upper class, but they're not educated. Not like in the old day, high class are educated, nowaday those are from Khmer rouge era and peasants like Hun Sen.
Keep your wedding small 10 to 20 tables maximum to save yourself money now and in the future. The more you make the more you owe to the folks who later invite you back.
I didn't know there's a Jewish Center in Cambodia. Just out of curiosity: What are the Jews doing there?
shut up, we invite jews to cambodia, you know!
we like all god's children.
To 2:18AM
What is your problem if the Jews is in Cambodia? There are Africans, American,European,Arab,Russian,Chinese....Tell me you have a problem with them too? What a fool you are!
I don't give a fuck as long they are legal and don't look down on the local and they are all welcome to Cambodia!
As for the wedding...People are invited but they should have the right not to show up and make excuse that they can't be at the wedding! If this is true love between a woman and a man and they don't need to announce to the whole world and they should treasure their love until death do them apart!
It seems financial reason, so it is vulture and definately Not culture.
The two most important days in Cambodian's life are the wedding and funeral. So be there, if you think we mean anything to you, because majority of us only get married one. Of course, everybody only die one as well:)
The Jews suffered so much and just like us. Some even worse. So it's good that we are closed to the Jews, because we have so much to share.
1:12 AM,
I totally agree with you. You have raised a lot of good points.
First of all Kampuchea (Cambodge)is welcome many nations in the world, I am not surprise the Jewf face present in Kampuchea we, Kampuchean have similar suffering to share with Hebrew people and more over we should learn from them. Their braveries, intelectually how to protect our own land from thieve neighbous. I would allow the Hebrew people all of my heart into Kampuchea, but not the Gana people because of their darker business practices. As you well knew a past recent year the GANA people floct into Kampuchea is for one reason, is to do an illegal business, they are not interlectual.
the last time i read, vulture is a kind of bird, culture is what people all over the world past on from generation to generation, really! now, don't tell me you are brain dead not to understand the difference here, really! what a joker!
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