By Tulsathit Taptim
tulsathit@nationgroup.com
The Nation
Dialogues and names in this article are all fictional. I'm not taking any responsibility, and nor will I feel any regret if they match anything or anyone in reality.
Phone Conversation One
Chamlong: Hi, how are things over there?
Jatuporn: Better than we thought. I'm looking at 40,000 or so protesters - a packed stadium to help your imagination. How are you guys doing?
Chamlong: Not so good. A few thousand max. Can you lend me some of yours?
Jatuporn: Very funny. You haven't heard what my big boss is saying in his phone-in.
Chamlong: What's that?
Jatuporn: He said Abhisit screws up over Cambodia because instead of being kind to his neighbour he has let gossipy servants influence him.
Chamlong: Come on. You know politics. Your boss can never smear Cambodia, not after he accepted him as their top economic adviser. Get back to him and say if he still wants Abhisit out, he must join hands with us.
Phone Conversation Two
Thaksin: Long time, no talk. Is this line secure?
Hun Sen: Everyone in Thailand is a spy, so we have to take our chances. What's up, dude?
Thaksin: Just calling to say thanks.
Hun Sen: For what?
Thaksin: For taking me off that advisory post a few months ago. It would have been a complete disaster for me politically. I might have gone down in history as the man who brought Thailand and Cambodia to war.
Hun Sen: You're welcome. But don't underestimate conspiracy theorists. They may soon come up with speculation that we plotted your exit with the border clashes in view.
Thaksin: They can't prove that, can they?
Hun Sen: Of course not.
Thaksin: And both of us know we only act in our countries' best interests.
Hun Sen: Of course we do. Oh, before we hang up, I hope that "Mr S" story in the Thai media is a total lie.
Thaksin: It is. Don't worry. Sleep tight.
Phone Conversation Three
Thaksin: Who is this?
Mr S: Mr S.
Thaksin: Pardon me?
Mr S: I'm Mr S, the one you're rumoured to be talking secretly to.
Thaksin: Oh, right. Never trust the rumour-mongering Thai media. They once said I was dead. Anyway, why are you calling?
Mr S: You should have helped that poor guy deny it. Everybody thought it was him.
Thaksin: There are millions of men with the initial S. And why would that poor guy have contacted me, after all that's happened?
Mr S: Thais live conspiracies, you know that. Nothing's more dramatic than closest allies breaking up and staunchest rivals striking secret deals.
Thaksin: You're right. Will see if I can do something. Maybe saying Abhisit has been influenced by his servants will help a little.
Phone Conversation Four:
Abhisit: Hey, buddy.
Hun Sen: I'm not your bloody buddy!
Abhisit: Calm down. I'm the one who should be sulking. How are things? Can we talk?
Hun Sen: Let's start with who planted that Mr S story in the Thai media. You?
Abhisit: You've got to be kidding. Who are we to try to make up a story about Cambodia's dearest friend ganging up with Cambodia's bitterest foe?
Hun Sen: Thais live conspiracies, you know that. Nothing's more dramatic than closest allies breaking up and staunchest rivals striking secret deals. Besides, the Mr S story is many birds in one stone for you. Many groups and individuals are discredited all at the same time.
Abhisit: This doesn't seem to be your problem. You're not rumoured to be in secret deal with anyone.
Hun Sen: What a short memory you have. Take a walk around your office and ask those in yellow who they think you've had a trade-off with.
Somewhere On Rajadamnoen
Man 1: May I bum a smoke, pal?
Man 2: Sure, here you go. You're from the red stage?
Man 1: Yes, and you must be PAD.
Man 2: Officially, yes. But ideologically I'm terribly confused. All these secret deals and switching of alliances are killing me.
Man 1: Tell me about it.
Man 2: Who are we fighting? Who are our enemies?
Man 1: I'm supposed to fight you and you're supposed to fight me.
Man 2: But both of us want Abhisit to go, so we must be allies.
Man 1: You hate Abhisit, Thaksin and Hun Sen. I like Thaksin and hate Abhisit. Hun Sen accommodated Thaksin, so I like him too. And to be honest, I can't bring myself to like your boss Sondhi yet.
Man 2: So you hate Abhisit and Sondhi. I hate Abhisit, Thaksin and Hun Sen. Abhisit is the common ground, but as Abhisit is fighting border battles with Hun Sen, I'm not sure why I'm hating them both at the same time. To add to that, bringing Abhisit down may bring back a pro-Thaksin government.
Man 1: What a bloody mess. And as much as I hate Abhisit, I don't want to see him ousted in a coup. I'm part of an anti-coup movement, to begin with. This means if you promote the idea of a coup, you and I are enemies.
Man 2: Maybe you're right. But before we decide what we are, let's go have a drink.
9 comments:
High school politician. But good fiction.
sent special agent to bangkok wipe out all oldest leader thai thugs, creat disorganize and destroy enemy economic system, blow out bank, airport, seaport and business center, make sure creta chaos and sank them into economice crisise. when enemy poor chaos will be up rising and revolution for sure will happen.
VERY DISAPPOINT ABOUT UN NOT SENDING PEACE KEEPER NOR OBSERVER TO THE PREAH VIHEAR TEMPLE. SUCH A USELESS ORGANISATION!!! A SMALL CONFLICT LIKE THIS, IT CAN NOT HANDLE, WHAT CAN IT DO THEN?
This is where world war III begins!
good job! good entertainment!
i like your article too much.
I hope you'll not be ordered to kill by hunsen unlike the other one who speaks about Tunisia.
More fictional conversation please, put it in a Comic next time, that'll make it better!
LOL
Mubarak's police force have now called for Mubarak to be publicly executed.
Earlier on the policemen marched to the interior ministry to protest at the deaths of more than 300 people during demonstrations over the past weeks.
The police in Egypt, widely viewed as brutal and corrupt, used banners to apologise for their performance during the protest
My beloved Khmers/ Thai in Surin, Si Sa Ket and Ubon Ratchathani provinces,
We, Khmers oversears love all of you. We know your daily life situation.
As you my know, this war has been caused by Yellow Shirt and Abhisit group.
Abhisit was instaled by Yellow shirt. Two yellow shirts are in Cambodian Jail. Both, Abhisit and Yellow shirt are very mad. To obey Yellow shirt and need their support to stay in office, Abhist and his group must provoke the war with Cambodia.
Please tell your sons, relatives, and friends in the Thai army to throw the guns away and run back home. Don't die for Yellow shirt and Abhisit.
Please call Cambodian army where are the positon of Thai soldiers along the border.
Cambodian/American in USA
Hun Sen has over $ 1000 billion American dollar. ( Sell forest, lands,diamonds mine ).
He has 10 000 tonnes of gold ( Khmer Gold ).
That are about money has not yet register with the world bank.
He use for his dynasty power at Cambodia.
Stop critised Cambodian teen about Valentine's day! Let's make love not war!
Sex is normal in this world that is part of biological and physiological being.
Boys and girls are equal right. If they have sex both boys and girls get the same pleasure and benefit.
Angkor's people are have sex more than today such as they respect Hindu God's penis and his wife 's vagina.
Boya and girls please have more sex at school to increase experince in life rather listen to your elderly teacher who always have sex at night with her partners.
Trust me all cambodians elderly are having sexual intercourse everyday. Stop listening to their lia words about sex!
We are cambodian teenagers to like to protest again elderly who stop us from making love at Valentin's day. We must have sex when we are young age, not when we are getting so old because old people can't perform sex well and can't enjoy the pleasure of sex.
Old cambodians stop jeasous to our cambodian teenagers sexual pleasure at valentine's day.
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