Cambodia's ability to forgive, forget the past is awe-inspiring

March 04, 2012
Kristin Lynch
Guest Columnist
The Gazette (Colorado Springs, USA)

When he let me try it on, it was the turning point.

I was in Prey Veng province 90 kilometers east of Cambodia’s capital. Despite the hustle and bustle of Phnom Penh, 80 percent of the country’s population lives in the provinces; this is the real slice of Cambodian life: chickens clucking in the background, children unabashedly staring at you, the wind sweeping through a never-ending horizon of rice paddies.

I was doing a story on rice farming. Oxfam is educating Cambodian farmers in more efficient ways to grow their staple crop. Because Cambodians have been growing rice for generations, they’re understandably skeptical of NGOs telling them a “different” way is better.

A few farmers had taken a risk, devoting a small portion of their farms to the experimental farming techniques. One of them was village chief Chab Heoung who reported great success.

Chab Heoung treated us to a lunch of rice and fish amok, Cambodia’s unofficial national dish. During the meal he displayed one of his most prized possessions, a helmet that one of the Vietnamese soldiers had left behind when they invaded the country and ultimately overthrew the despotic and genocidal Khmer Rouge regime.

I felt more than a little unsettled wearing it, despite his insistence. The helmet was a symbolic reminder of Cambodia’s painful military past at the hands of more powerful and wealthier nations, ours included.

The United States, along with other Western nations, supported the dictatorial Khmer Rouge regime well past the time their genocidal atrocities were common knowledge. Indeed the Khmer Rouge held a seat at the United Nations through the early 1990s (the genocide took place between 1975 and 1979).

A 1990 New York Times article explains it best: “Because the United Nations opposed the [Vietnamese] invasion and occupation, it continued to recognize a delegation that includes Khmer Rouge representatives. The European Community, like the United States, has been in the uncomfortable position of opposing the Khmer Rouge as a killer of its own people but not opposing its presence at the United Nations.”

Further, our involvement during Cambodia’s civil war in the 1970s, during which we dumped more bombs on the tiny country than were dumped by the Allies in all of WWII, were partially to blame for driving the Cambodian people into the arms of the Khmer Rouge in the first place.

In other words, Cambodians have a right to be upset at Westerners, especially Americans. You’re this tiny country 8,000 miles away and one of the most powerful nations in the world decides to use you as a pawn in a complicated game of chess against the Communists. I’m not sure I could ever remove that proverbial chip from my shoulder.

And as an American here, I find it difficult not to feel guilty for being a native of a country that has inflicted so much pain. Yet, in my six months here, the kindness, affability, and hospitality of Khmers is overwhelming. No such grudge seems to exist (for the most part). They are warm, smiling, gracious and friendly, excited to show you their country.

This is not to say I haven’t been cheated, scammed or robbed here — there are of course extreme examples on both sides of this argument — but the seemingly innate ability of Khmers to forgive and forget, and to keep looking forward, is impressive, and inspiring. I find myself often wondering how Americans would act if the tables were turned. I can’t help but think that we wouldn’t be so forgiving.

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Kristin Lynch is a former member of The Gazette editorial board.