AN EXTRAORDINARY LIFENovember 5, 2007
By Denise M. Baran-Unland
Special to the Herald News (Joliet, Illinois, USA)
Escaped genocide to start over in Joliet, Choeur Mao of Joliet was the embodiment of strength, a fighter until the very end, said her son Ran Dim of Chicago.
As a young Cambodian mother, Choeur had lost three of her eight children to illness when they were only 11, 9 and 7. In 1975, when the Khmer Rouge became the ruling Communist Party of Cambodia, Choeur's husband Noun Dim died of starvation in the killing fields and her oldest son was killed.
Nevertheless, Choeur protected her younger children with frequent moves until she arrived in the United States in 1981. Here, she strove to assimilate her children into a foreign culture, to provide them with a fine education and to mold them into people of strong character, despite language barriers and few financial resources.
In 1999, Choeur battled a new enemy, kidney failure, a battle she lost at the age of 73 on Sept. 26.
"As for us, the children, we never forget what kind of mother she was, the mother that brought us into this world, the mother that gave us life, love, strength and courage to face whatever came into our lives," Ran said. "Life was still not easy for her here because everything was so different from where she came from, but that really didn't matter."
"She spent her time at home and guided her kids. She wanted us to stay in school and out of trouble. She did not want to see us fail. In Cambodia, children were not allowed to go to school. They had to stay home and help the family. When her children were grown and they got married, she helped them take care of the grandchildren."
Up until 1975, Choeur's life was fairly conventional, middle class and routine. She was married at 16 and, like most women like her, became a typical Cambodian housewife.
"She stayed home and took care of her eight children, feeding them and getting them to school," Ran said. "It was my father's job to bring in the money so she could take care of the children. He was a famous goldsmith, then a gem miner."
After the death of her husband and son, Choeur's life was full of hardships. Feeding the children was no longer a housewifely task; it was now an all-consuming challenge. The older children were sent to work camps, where they had little contact with Choeur and their youngest siblings.
"She always tried her best to protect the rest of the kids from harm's way by moving from one place to another," Ran said.
In 1979, soon after the Vietnamese invaded Cambodia, Choeur, again fearing for her children's safety, moved to Thailand and lived at the Khao I Dang Camp for a year and a half. She then applied for entrance into the United States and on Nov. 1, 1981, Choeur and her children arrived in California, staying there two days before coming to Joliet, where a local sponsor obtained for them a one-bedroom apartment.
On Nov. 8, Choeur took her children to St. Joseph Catholic Church in Joliet for their first Mass in their new home country. There, she met the Rev. Roger Kaffer, now the retired auxiliary bishop of the Diocese of Joliet.
"That moment changed her life," Ran said. "He had a hard time understanding us, so he brought in a wonderful lady from the adult refugee program to talk to us. The next day she brought us a lot of food and another wonderful person came long to get some clothes for the family.
"A week after that, she brought us to St. John's church and introduced us to a wonderful couple to take care of us. With the support of many new friends, she continued to raise us to have a better life in this country than she ever had before."
When her kidneys failed, Choeur impressed upon her children that her illness should not be that important to them. "She always reminded us that it didn't matter what happened to her," Ran said. "For us, the children, we must keep the family together and raise our children to have even better educations and lives than us."
If you would like to see someone featured in "An Extraordinary Life," contact Denise M. Baran-Unland at (815) 467-5249 or artemis279@aol.com.
As a young Cambodian mother, Choeur had lost three of her eight children to illness when they were only 11, 9 and 7. In 1975, when the Khmer Rouge became the ruling Communist Party of Cambodia, Choeur's husband Noun Dim died of starvation in the killing fields and her oldest son was killed.
Nevertheless, Choeur protected her younger children with frequent moves until she arrived in the United States in 1981. Here, she strove to assimilate her children into a foreign culture, to provide them with a fine education and to mold them into people of strong character, despite language barriers and few financial resources.
In 1999, Choeur battled a new enemy, kidney failure, a battle she lost at the age of 73 on Sept. 26.
"As for us, the children, we never forget what kind of mother she was, the mother that brought us into this world, the mother that gave us life, love, strength and courage to face whatever came into our lives," Ran said. "Life was still not easy for her here because everything was so different from where she came from, but that really didn't matter."
"She spent her time at home and guided her kids. She wanted us to stay in school and out of trouble. She did not want to see us fail. In Cambodia, children were not allowed to go to school. They had to stay home and help the family. When her children were grown and they got married, she helped them take care of the grandchildren."
Up until 1975, Choeur's life was fairly conventional, middle class and routine. She was married at 16 and, like most women like her, became a typical Cambodian housewife.
"She stayed home and took care of her eight children, feeding them and getting them to school," Ran said. "It was my father's job to bring in the money so she could take care of the children. He was a famous goldsmith, then a gem miner."
After the death of her husband and son, Choeur's life was full of hardships. Feeding the children was no longer a housewifely task; it was now an all-consuming challenge. The older children were sent to work camps, where they had little contact with Choeur and their youngest siblings.
"She always tried her best to protect the rest of the kids from harm's way by moving from one place to another," Ran said.
In 1979, soon after the Vietnamese invaded Cambodia, Choeur, again fearing for her children's safety, moved to Thailand and lived at the Khao I Dang Camp for a year and a half. She then applied for entrance into the United States and on Nov. 1, 1981, Choeur and her children arrived in California, staying there two days before coming to Joliet, where a local sponsor obtained for them a one-bedroom apartment.
On Nov. 8, Choeur took her children to St. Joseph Catholic Church in Joliet for their first Mass in their new home country. There, she met the Rev. Roger Kaffer, now the retired auxiliary bishop of the Diocese of Joliet.
"That moment changed her life," Ran said. "He had a hard time understanding us, so he brought in a wonderful lady from the adult refugee program to talk to us. The next day she brought us a lot of food and another wonderful person came long to get some clothes for the family.
"A week after that, she brought us to St. John's church and introduced us to a wonderful couple to take care of us. With the support of many new friends, she continued to raise us to have a better life in this country than she ever had before."
When her kidneys failed, Choeur impressed upon her children that her illness should not be that important to them. "She always reminded us that it didn't matter what happened to her," Ran said. "For us, the children, we must keep the family together and raise our children to have even better educations and lives than us."
If you would like to see someone featured in "An Extraordinary Life," contact Denise M. Baran-Unland at (815) 467-5249 or artemis279@aol.com.
