I trained so I could kill the people who murdered my family - but instead I have forgiven them

Reaksa Him at the Spa Centre about how he escaped the killing fields in Cambodia when he was a child and later returned to forgive his family's killers.

Wednesday 2 November 2011
The Courier (UK)

“I REMEMBER it all very clearly,” says Reaksa, a polite, softly spoken and professional man, who wastes no time with small talk before getting right to the bones of the interview.

“When I first moved to Canada, I used to have flashbacks and nightmares. Every night before I went to bed, I was scared to go to sleep.”

When he then launches into his memory of that terrible day in 1977, it is a wonder that this is no longer the case.

“One morning, they arrested my father and took him to the jungle.

“They took him and others to a big grave and pushed him into it from behind. They slaughtered him and I saw every single moment of it.

“Then they pushed me into the pit. I heard them do it to my baby brother as well.

“I had blood coming through my nose and mouth. I could hardly breathe. But they thought I was dead already.

Theary Seng's Comment on Christian Forgiveness article

30 July 2010
Theary C. Seng

I am humbled and inspired by the article "Killing Fields Verdict Fuels Christian's Forgiveness" and Silas's Christian charity and forgiveness, a faith I share. Forgiveness (a burden lifted) is the very heart of healing. And we, individually, need to extend this forgiveness (genuine and at our own pace) in order to be healed.

Here briefly, I'd like to make a distinction between vertical justice and horizontal justice.

Vertical justice is the imperfect (proximate, selective) work of the State toward the perpetrator; but ultimately, it is the perfect work of God toward the perpetrator. In the case of Duch, the State (i.e., the ECCC) handed out the imperfect verdict of 35 years, reduced to 19 years after the legitimate reductions for cooperation and time served in the illegal prior detention at the military compound. I am and others are saying that this is "too imperfect". But we have the assurance of perfect justice to be meted out by God (which may be a surprise to those who do not share the Christian faith of "amazing grace" if Duch is truly a Christian!).

Horizontal justice is the personal relationship between the victim and the perpetrator; here, it allows room for forgiveness. But the individual's forgiveness is independent and separate from the State's or God's role in meting out vertical justice.

Thus, I share in the personal forgiveness of personal horizontal justice between victim and perpetrator; forgiveness does more good for the forgiver than the forgiven. Many times, the perpetrator could care less. But this forgiveness does not take away the role of the State to exact its vertical justice (imperfect as it may) and ultimately, God's perfect justice.

In our deep disappointment, we are saying that the State (i.e., ECCC) has disproportionately responded to the gravity of the crimes committed by only exacting 19 years for crimes against humanity. This in no way take away from the need of individuals at one moment in time to forgive when s/he is genuinely able and ready.

- Theary Seng, Phnom Penh, 30 July 2010. www.thearyseng.com

Killing Fields verdict fuels Christian's forgiveness

Jul 29, 2010
By Tess Rivers

PHNOM PENH, Cambodia (Baptist Press)--Former Khmer Rouge operative Kaing Guev Eav's sentence is not severe enough, in the minds of many Cambodians; forgiveness is far from their thoughts.

Silas* is not one of them.

Kaing Guev Eav, known as "Duch," was sentenced to 35 years in prison July 26 by a U.N.-backed war crimes tribunal -- the first of five surviving senior leaders of the notorious Khmer Rouge to be brought to trial. The communist regime's nearly four-year reign of terror in the 1970s resulted in the death of 1.7 million men, women and children in what has become known as Cambodia's Killing Fields.

Duch, who now professes to be a Christian, will appeal his sentence. At his trial he pleaded guilty but asked forgiveness for his role in the genocide. He claimed he was only following orders.

Duch was convicted of crimes against humanity, murder and torture for his role as head of the S-21 prison in Phnom Penh. At least 14,000 people died there under his command. Reduction in sentence for time served means Duch, 67, will spend the next 19 years in prison.

Silas was 8 years old in 1975 when communist leader Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge overturned the government of Cambodia. Silas was separated from his family and sent to a re-education camp where the Khmer Rouge trained him as a child soldier.

When the Vietnamese liberated Cambodia in 1979, Silas was reunited with his mother, brother and sister, but not his father. Silas believes the Khmer Rouge executed his father in 1976 in one of the infamous Killing Fields.

Silas understands his countrymen's frustration and he hopes other leaders of the Khmer Rouge will be brought to justice. But he also says forgiveness must be part of the process.

Silas knows from experience this is not easy. Years ago in a refugee camp in Thailand he became a Christian. He also learned the identity of the man who turned his father over to the Khmer Rouge.

"He was my father's best friend," Silas said, recounting that, as boys, he and his brother "decided when we found that man we were going to kill him."

For years, Silas nursed his hatred. He struggled with the anger and bitterness, and he began to pray that God would help him find the man, kill him and not get caught.

"I knew that I could do the killing but I needed God's help at not getting caught," he said.

But Silas' prayers brought no peace. He sensed God was questioning him.

Why do you want to kill him? God seemed to ask. What about his children? What about his family? Do you want his children to go through what you went through?

Silas couldn't answer those questions. He came to realize that only God could avenge his father's death.

After college, seminary and the decision to return to Cambodia as a Christian worker, Silas learned from his mother that the man he once wanted to kill also had become a follower of Christ.

"I said, 'God, you were supposed to kill him,'" Silas laughed. "Still, I knew that God had spared his life so he could become a child of God.... I could only worship Him for that."

A few years later Silas' mother traveled to California to meet the man.

"She sat down next to him in [a church] service and introduced herself," Silas said. "She told him she had forgiven him."

The man began to cry.

"For me that was confirmation that Cambodia is where I need to be," Silas said. "God saved me and sent people to me so I could hear [the Gospel]. I need to be faithful ... to share with others."

Today, Silas is pleased that Duch professes responsibility for his crimes and that Duch, in his darkest moments, seems to have run toward God and that God found him. Silas considers Duch a brother and urges his fellow Cambodians to let go of the past and learn to forgive.

"We [Cambodians] hate the past but we are continuing to live the same way," Silas said. "For the sake of our children, we need to let go of our grudges."

Silas understands the power people have to end life. He witnessed it when the Khmer Rouge trained him as a soldier and felt it when he learned of his father's death at their hands. But he sees forgiveness as being more significant.

By learning to forgive, "It is an even greater power to give life back," he said.
------
*Name changed.

Tess Rivers is a writer for the International Mission Board living in Southeast Asia.

Former Khmer Rouge Turn to Christ

By Kong Soth, VOA Khmer
Original report from Washington
06 March 2008

A small number of former Khmer Rouge say they are moving from bad karma and Buddhism toward forgiveness and Christianity.

In the former rebel stronghold of Pailin, there are at least two Christian churches, and as many as 100 converts.

Pou Him is a former Khmer Rouge soldier living in Pailin. He said he believes very strongly in Jesus Christ, and he also has the Bible to read at home.

He said he was working under the Khmer Rouge for many years, and at that time believed in Buddhism, which follows a belief in karma.

If you do something wrong, he said, you can receive bad karma and cannot be cleaned of what has been done. So, after coming back from a refugee camp along the Cambodian-Thai border in 1992, he converted to Christianity.

"Jesus does everything for us, to bless us, and what we have committed," he said. "I have been baptized, so Jesus will help me pray away from the devil."

Some Khmer Rouge soldiers, like Meas Kim, say poverty changed their religion.

Meas Kim lived in Koh Kong province during the war, but in peace, she moved to Pailin with her family and six children. She has been a believer in Christ for almost 20 years, she said, and hopes God will help the family.

"I hope my children can go to school, because Jesus Christ can help them and train them," she said. "I believe that it is very just for me, that I can pray away my bad devils, and hope that He will take the bad devil from me."

Mean Lab, a priest at For Good News Church in Pailin, said there are at least 100 former Khmer Rouge soldiers who believe in Jesus Christ, though some of them are not 100 percent sure.

"Jesus, when he was born a human, his purpose was to save humans on Earth, to free them from the Devil," he said. "Our people want to know why Jesus came to the Earth. He came to the Earth because he wanted to save the people."

Roth Phanith, a priest at a Presbyterian church in Pailin, said that there are some people who "believe" only in order to get a gift.

"That's why sometimes we have some difficulty to go out and do this outreach about God to the people in Pailin," he said.

There is no kept number of churches or religious organizations in Cambodia, said Chhorn Em, secretary of state for the Ministry of Religious Affairs.

There are "a lot," he said, adding that this did not affect the nation's predominant Buddhist traditions.

"For the future, we are worried for the youth, because we consider much about the elderly people, the old generation, and we never take care of the new one," he said. "This is a problem in the future. But for the present, it's only a small number."