Cambodian Odyssey: Salem girl, adopted as baby, to get her first glimpse of homeland

Jean Monahan, left, and her adopted daughter, Lilah, are leaving on Christmas Day for Lilah's first trip to her native country, Cambodia. (Photo: Ken Yuszkus)

December 21, 2010
By Amanda McGregor
STAFF WRITER
The Salem News ( Massachusetts, USA)

For the first time since her adoption, Lilah Monahan is returning to her native Cambodia.

She and her mother, Jean, will embark on Christmas Day for a two-week trip arranged through The Ties Program, which offers homeland tours specifically for children who have been adopted overseas.

Their itinerary includes a visit to the Angkor Wat temple and other famous cultural sites, as well as the orphanage where Salem resident Jean Monahan adopted her baby daughter 91/2 years ago.

They also plan to visit with the nanny who cared for her there.

Lilah, 10, and her mother are busy getting ready for their trip and bracing for a 14-hour journey from California to Taipei on Christmas Day. Then it's two hours to Phnom Penh, the capital and largest city in Cambodia.

"We've been thinking about it for a long time," Jean Monahan said of the trip. "It's good to do it at this age when she's still excited and curious about everything."

Lilah is thrilled about the trip.

"It means a lot to me because that's where I was born," said Lilah, who is in fifth grade at Bates School in Salem. "I feel special about that place. I would like to see where I was born and just see the culture."

That cultural connection will include a visit to the Floating Village at Tonle Sap Lake, a silk farm and a school. They'll spend some time on the coast.

And, of course, "we're going to be in the jungle where Angkor Wat is, which is basically one of the wonders of the world," Monahan said.

"I'm excited to see the Floating village and to ride an elephant," Lilah said.

A highlight of the trip will be their visit to the orphanage in Kampong Spoe where Lilah and Monahan were united.

Jean Monahan is a single mother, and she was 41 when she adopted Lilah. It was an eight-month process, and Jean and her mother traveled to Cambodia in May 2001 for the adoption.

Monahan said it has been important for her and her daughter to learn about Cambodian culture and traditions, and there are large Cambodian communities in Lynn and Lowell so they can take part in local activities.

"There are several families in this area we know who have adopted from Cambodia," she said. "We're lucky living here."

Every summer, they travel to Colorado for a heritage camp for Cambodian families in America.

"We do arts and crafts about Cambodia," Lilah said, "and we learn the culture and dances, and we eat Cambodian food and there's a big party at the end."

"It's a wonderful culture and there is this really strong social focus," said Monahan, 51, who works as a webmaster at North Shore Medical Center in Salem. "I had done a lot of travel and lived in China for a year, but I didn't know about Cambodian culture, so that was a whole plus to the huge adventure."

They will be among about 15 adoptive families on the trip, and they will also travel to a rural school for which the American families have raised donations.

"They (The Ties Program) do a nice job of providing a rich and thoughtful experience," Monahan said. "And the children know they'll see some pretty profound poverty and people injured by the war."

Lilah said her friends at school have taken an interest in her trip, and she plans to give a presentation when she returns.

"They think it's amazing that I'm going so far," Lilah said, "and they want me to bring back different stuff to show them."

Lilah loves learning about Cambodian culture. She also plays the piano, takes African dance and hip-hop dance classes at the Boys & Girls Club, and enjoys science — her favorite subject in school.

Sometimes people ask her if she is adopted, particularly younger kids, she said.

"Sometimes they say, 'I feel bad for you,'" Lilah said, "but it doesn't make anything else different. I still have a mom, and I still have people who take care of me, just like everyone else."

"We're fortunate to live in a world where it's so common," her mother said. "We have many, many friends who have adopted."

Staff writer Amanda McGregor can be reached at amcgregor@salemnews.com.