John Mills drapes Rhumdoul Rom’s shawl over her the casket of mother, Prak Soy, at Old South Congregational Church in Windsor yesterday. Soy’s son Sarin Rom is second from left, Rhumdoul Rom is second from right, and her daughter, Suphada Rom, is far right. (Photo: Valley News — James M. Patterson)6/24/07
By Mark Davis
Valley News Staff Writer (White River Junction, Vermont, USA)
Windsor --Standing a few feet in front of the altar at the Old South Church yesterday, three Buddhist monks in orange robes stood in a line, waiting.
They bowed their heads slightly each time they were passed by a Windsor resident in dark dress clothes or Cambodians in shimmering white -- their traditional color of mourning -- who gathered for the funeral of Prak Soy, 64, matriarch of an immigrant family who captured national attention when they arrived in Windsor in the 1980s after fleeing the brutal Khmer Rouge regime and the genocide that clamed between 1 million and 2 million lives.
Prak Soy's story has been told numerous times, and many in Windsor even played key supporting roles in it. But guests at her funeral yesterday couldn't help but retell it, again and again.
The Khmer Rouge executed her husband, as it did most educated men, and four of her sons were killed. Prak Soy and her five remaining children were left to endure starvation and the atrocities of Pol Pot's rule.
When Vietnam invaded Cambodia in 1978, Prak Soy and her two youngest children escaped to Thailand, where they stayed for several years in refugee camps.
Three other siblings were separated from the family in Cambodia.
In 1983, one of those siblings, 13-year-old Sarin Rom, managed to get permission to leave Cambodia and settled with a Windsor foster family. He immediately began working to bring his mother and siblings to America. In 1985, the Red Cross found his mother, his brother, Somnang Rom, and a sister, Rhumdoul Rom, living in a Thailand refugee camp. Several Windsor families agreed to sponsor them.
In 1988, 10 years after he last saw them, Sarin Rom was reunited with Somnang Rom and Prak Soy in a scene at Lebanon Municipal Airport captured by several national media outlets.
But their joy was tempered.
Three days before refugee workers were scheduled to interview the family for visa processing, Rhumdoul Rom was kidnapped from the camp. Her family had to leave the country without her. In 1989, after prodding from the family and their Windsor supporters, an aide to U.S. Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-Vt., tracked Rhumdoul down in Thailand and brought her to Windsor.
Most of the family was together (two of Prak Soy's children, daughter Sokphap Rom and son Vannaro Rom, remain in Cambodia), but much was left to do. Windsor rallied around them, raising thousands of dollars, finding an apartment for them and a job for Prak Soy and ensuring that the children would assimilate into the local schools.
One of the family's sponsors, Mike Coxon, ran the prison in town, which proved a surprising source of help -- an inmate serving time for murder taught Prak Soy to speak English, while other prisoners made furniture for their apartment.
“It brought Windsor together to bring that family together,” said Anne Evenson, a school guidance counselor for all three of the children.
Prak Soy, who died on May 14, had no formal education and learned to read only by spending time in Buddhist temples. She insisted that her children, who did not speak English when they arrived in the Upper Valley, become educated. It was the only way they would be able to take care of themselves, she said.
The children listened: They each graduated from Windsor High School as members of the National Honor Society, and all went on to higher education.
“They brought that can-do spirit, that Vermonter spirit, with them,” Coxon said. “They were a source of inspiration, an example at what you can do.”
In the past 20 years, the family has become a part of Windsor. Rhumdoul's daughter, Suphada, was chosen prom queen at Windsor High School this year. Her boyfriend, Brendan Weeks, and his parents attended the funeral yesterday.
“We are part of this community now,” Somnang Rom said. “We pretty much know everybody.”
However, they retain part of their native culture.
After leaving the chapel and gathering in a downstairs room, the siblings sat on the floor, legs folded, and prayed as a monk chanted sutras -- wishes for the deceased to forgive mistakes of their friends and family and to have a peaceful afterlife.
Before anyone ate, they gave food to the monks as a sign of respect.
The friends and neighbors who gathered at the funeral said Windsor may have benefited more than the family.
“Any time anybody different comes in, it makes people more socially aware,” family friend Carol Santa Maria said. “I don't think anybody knew where Cambodia was, and they didn't care. I don’t think half these people have ever seen a monk.”
But, as with so many American families, time has steadily weakened the ties that bind them to their hometown.
Somnang Rom lives in Ludlow, Mass., and Sarin Rom has moved to California, where he once opened a doughnut shop and is now managing property. Suphada Rom is headed to St. Michael's College in Burlington in the fall.
Rhumdoul Rom will soon be the only member of her family left in Windsor.
As Windsor natives sat with the monks and swapped stories about her family over a Cambodian lunch, Rhumdoul Rom leaned against a wall in a corner of the room and quietly acknowledged that there are times when she wonders, with her mother now gone and her daughter moving, if it might be time for her to leave.
But then, as if snapping out of a bad memory, Rhumdoul Rom remembers that she has called Windsor home longer than any other place she has ever known.
“I could move to a Cambodian community, but I raised my daughter here,” she said. “You grow roots, and when you get up and rip them out, it's not very good for you. That's one thing my mother always told me. You move around, you have nothing. If you stay and know people and feel comfortable … it’s just like home.”
They bowed their heads slightly each time they were passed by a Windsor resident in dark dress clothes or Cambodians in shimmering white -- their traditional color of mourning -- who gathered for the funeral of Prak Soy, 64, matriarch of an immigrant family who captured national attention when they arrived in Windsor in the 1980s after fleeing the brutal Khmer Rouge regime and the genocide that clamed between 1 million and 2 million lives.
Prak Soy's story has been told numerous times, and many in Windsor even played key supporting roles in it. But guests at her funeral yesterday couldn't help but retell it, again and again.
The Khmer Rouge executed her husband, as it did most educated men, and four of her sons were killed. Prak Soy and her five remaining children were left to endure starvation and the atrocities of Pol Pot's rule.
When Vietnam invaded Cambodia in 1978, Prak Soy and her two youngest children escaped to Thailand, where they stayed for several years in refugee camps.
Three other siblings were separated from the family in Cambodia.
In 1983, one of those siblings, 13-year-old Sarin Rom, managed to get permission to leave Cambodia and settled with a Windsor foster family. He immediately began working to bring his mother and siblings to America. In 1985, the Red Cross found his mother, his brother, Somnang Rom, and a sister, Rhumdoul Rom, living in a Thailand refugee camp. Several Windsor families agreed to sponsor them.
In 1988, 10 years after he last saw them, Sarin Rom was reunited with Somnang Rom and Prak Soy in a scene at Lebanon Municipal Airport captured by several national media outlets.
But their joy was tempered.
Three days before refugee workers were scheduled to interview the family for visa processing, Rhumdoul Rom was kidnapped from the camp. Her family had to leave the country without her. In 1989, after prodding from the family and their Windsor supporters, an aide to U.S. Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-Vt., tracked Rhumdoul down in Thailand and brought her to Windsor.
Most of the family was together (two of Prak Soy's children, daughter Sokphap Rom and son Vannaro Rom, remain in Cambodia), but much was left to do. Windsor rallied around them, raising thousands of dollars, finding an apartment for them and a job for Prak Soy and ensuring that the children would assimilate into the local schools.
One of the family's sponsors, Mike Coxon, ran the prison in town, which proved a surprising source of help -- an inmate serving time for murder taught Prak Soy to speak English, while other prisoners made furniture for their apartment.
“It brought Windsor together to bring that family together,” said Anne Evenson, a school guidance counselor for all three of the children.
Prak Soy, who died on May 14, had no formal education and learned to read only by spending time in Buddhist temples. She insisted that her children, who did not speak English when they arrived in the Upper Valley, become educated. It was the only way they would be able to take care of themselves, she said.
The children listened: They each graduated from Windsor High School as members of the National Honor Society, and all went on to higher education.
“They brought that can-do spirit, that Vermonter spirit, with them,” Coxon said. “They were a source of inspiration, an example at what you can do.”
In the past 20 years, the family has become a part of Windsor. Rhumdoul's daughter, Suphada, was chosen prom queen at Windsor High School this year. Her boyfriend, Brendan Weeks, and his parents attended the funeral yesterday.
“We are part of this community now,” Somnang Rom said. “We pretty much know everybody.”
However, they retain part of their native culture.
After leaving the chapel and gathering in a downstairs room, the siblings sat on the floor, legs folded, and prayed as a monk chanted sutras -- wishes for the deceased to forgive mistakes of their friends and family and to have a peaceful afterlife.
Before anyone ate, they gave food to the monks as a sign of respect.
The friends and neighbors who gathered at the funeral said Windsor may have benefited more than the family.
“Any time anybody different comes in, it makes people more socially aware,” family friend Carol Santa Maria said. “I don't think anybody knew where Cambodia was, and they didn't care. I don’t think half these people have ever seen a monk.”
But, as with so many American families, time has steadily weakened the ties that bind them to their hometown.
Somnang Rom lives in Ludlow, Mass., and Sarin Rom has moved to California, where he once opened a doughnut shop and is now managing property. Suphada Rom is headed to St. Michael's College in Burlington in the fall.
Rhumdoul Rom will soon be the only member of her family left in Windsor.
As Windsor natives sat with the monks and swapped stories about her family over a Cambodian lunch, Rhumdoul Rom leaned against a wall in a corner of the room and quietly acknowledged that there are times when she wonders, with her mother now gone and her daughter moving, if it might be time for her to leave.
But then, as if snapping out of a bad memory, Rhumdoul Rom remembers that she has called Windsor home longer than any other place she has ever known.
“I could move to a Cambodian community, but I raised my daughter here,” she said. “You grow roots, and when you get up and rip them out, it's not very good for you. That's one thing my mother always told me. You move around, you have nothing. If you stay and know people and feel comfortable … it’s just like home.”
1 comment:
What a story and those inmates who turned to be a very useful teacher and furnitures makers! Wow! Doesn't mean something could be done better for the inmates in the future?
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