"What kind of society do we Khmer want? We want a great society. A society where everyone believes s/he can influence change, where leaders serve and where courage, integrity and grace abound. This is a call to action. To do nothing is to let our society rot and allow the destructive mentality to prevail" - Theary C. Seng
First published in The Phnom Penh Post in June 2008 as part of the Voice of Justice columns on the advent of our 4th parliamentary elections. In light of growing social restlessness and political morass whereby the political "leaders" often baffled us and foreigners alike in their coarse speech and demeanor, let us head into 2010, pondering anew their reflections upon us as a people in the eyes of the world and fellow Khmer citizens. And how we can affect change, or as remarked by Gandhi, "You must be the change you want to see in the world."LEADERSHIP: To lead is to serve
As Election Day nears and in light of the recent experience of the Center for Social Development, my thoughts have been turning to issues of leadership, and I am haunted by and mourn the state of affairs. A great vacuum exists in society with echoes of clanging dissonances and cacophonies from the ugliness, deceit, small-mindedness, power plays that abound. We see and experience brute power where "might makes right", devoid of wisdom, goodness, beauty and truth.
This state of affairs fosters a mentality of destruction where only the ego reigns and consumes everything in its way - with it reason. The ego says if "I cannot have this position, then you cannot have it either... even if it means destroying the organization and its staff; even if it means destroying my reputation and self in the process. I will do it because it destroys you."
This state of affairs cannot go on. It cannot go on because it will destroy us all.
We, at CSD, are doing something about it. If we believe a leader is a reflection of us or who we would like to be, then we will not tolerate violence; we will not tolerate injustice; we will not tolerate un-accountability and mismanagement. Rather, we desire leaders who will pull us to a higher plane from the pit of violence, manipulation, small-mindedness, pettiness; we desire leaders with vision, who reflect what we aspire to be and not encourage our darker side, but with clarity and integrity, who enlarge our space to be the best persons we could be.
It has been and is currently said that we Khmers deserve the leaders we have. Rather than react defensively, meditate on whatever degree of truth is in this statement and do something about it.
But as a colleague reminded me, maybe we are starting in the wrong place. Maybe it is not "leadership" but "service" we should be focusing on, for genuine leadership is a call to serve. Thus, to lead is to serve. And everyone can and should serve.
The issue is really: what kind of society do we want? A society where leadership mistakenly means power, authority, force, coercion? Or a society where leadership is service?
Another approach is to say what leadership is not. It is not about winning at all costs; it is not the feeding of the ego. Rather, as reminded by a colleague and history, the greatest leaders were/are ones whose finest hours are in failures, as grace and transformation triumph.
Of course, reading is only a reminder; to change habits and perspectives must take us from reading to meditating and the difficult job of implementing these virtues faithfully in our lives. More than ever, we Khmers, are in need of transforming our minds to think of leadership as service and to believe that we can effect change, if we are to move from this society of hopelessness and violence to one of well-being and greatness.
So, as we go to the polls in a month's time to elect our national leaders and as we go through life learning how to respect authority - in a healthy manner - let us be reminded of basic virtues of courage, integrity and vision that have been lost in the cacophony of violence and brute power, in the following excerpts by Dr. Mark Strom.
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I work with leaders to encourage them...to do two things - to lead with greater integrity of character, and to lead with greater rigor and clarity of thought... confidence with a hint of humility... Leadership is not the preserve of an elite... Leadership is influencing people to change themselves or the world. That’s all it is. And there is only one measure of leadership – the influence you have upon others.You can lead for good, or you can lead for ill. You can lead as someone who regards all people as being of equal and high value. You can lead in a manner that reflects this value. Or you can lead as a tyrant. The choice is yours.
Never confuse leadership with your position in the food chain. Your leadership stands independently of your rank and status in the world...
What will it take for you to make a difference? There are many factors we could and should consider... I'm going to pin the difference you will make in the world on the question of the depth of your own character - on the priority and energy you give to the deepening of your character, to the nurturing of your soul, and to the getting of wisdom… I believe nothing compares to the leader's personal depth...
Society seems more interested in personality than in character... Too rarely do we consider whether a person shows integrity, perseverance, kindness, or courage...
"Make your lives extraordinary"...It is what I want in my own life. It's something I hope you can say unapologetically. In my own case it is colored by 16 years of chronic childhood sickness and my living sense of death being close at hand. That is partly why life is precious to me.
Imagine your funeral... I would hope that at least one person will say of me, "I'm glad he was here. He made a difference for me." Great leadership begins at this level in one's gut...
Knowledge is a crucial asset - far more than qualifications or even experience. But I put it to you that your character is your greatest asset … We talk big about vision. But people do not buy a vision. They buy into the person who has the vision...
An ancient sage once wrote, "Wisdom is supreme; though it costs you all you have, get understanding." Leadership is inseparable from responsibility. We tend to talk about rights, and we need to when so much abuse of natural rights endures. But the topic of leadership must take us beyond rights to responsibility. Our conversation... is not about asserting our personal rights to anything in the world, but about reminding ourselves of the responsibilities we accepted for the wellbeing of others when we look up the leader's mantle... We are saying that a leader may know what others need. Many leaders have rationalized abuse in the name of knowing what people really need. But it is no answer to avoid leadership for fear of misusing it. Leadership is about responsibility, and the exercise of responsibility requites wisdom. How am I to discharge my responsibility? The greater the responsibility I carry, the greater my need for wisdom...
Wisdom is reading oneself, others and the world with insight and acting with integrity.
Wherever I read in the wisdom traditions, I find two emphases about wisdom: to possess the faculty to read life well and a character to match. A wise man or woman reads what's going on around them insightfully. They are not easily taken in by appearances. They look beneath. They are not so easily tricked. They read life well. The flip side is the question of character. I may face a deal of some kind and everything in my gut is telling me to be cautious... You might say that I read it well, that I was clever even, but you will never call me wise if I acted in a way which was contrary to my values. Wisdom is both the capacity to read life well and then to act with integrity.
My framework begins with an ancient philosopher whose thinking both inspires and irritates me. Aristotle...his work titled The Politics...
What docs "living well" look like? Like most of his peers he drew from the three great ideals of the classical world: truth, beauty and goodness. But there was also an ideal of being part of a purpose bigger than oneself… the ideal of unity...Truth, Beauty, Goodness, and Unity... the intellectual, the aesthetic, the moral, and the spiritual. Not spiritual in the sense of religion or affiliation to an organization, but in the sense of being connected to a purpose larger than ourselves.
Can people live well if they can never be sure if they are being told the truth? ...Or what effect does it have to place people in ugly environments? ...Or think what life would be like if we had no social contract to preserve life. We cannot live well if we fear being harmed... Finally, what is it like to have no sense of purpose? When we feel there's no point getting out of bed in the morning … But where there is truth, where there is beauty, where there is goodness, and where there is unity, we may live well.
If that is a reasonable and helpful picture of the ends towards we must aim as leaders, as people who create and sustain partnerships for living well, then what are the outcomes? What would I see if I did lead wisely? ... Has my influence upon other people led to greater Clarity, Elegance, Strength, and Heart for them?
If we lead well towards truth, if we lead wisely in the intellectual dimension of life, then we would expect to see people who are clearer about who they are and what they are doing. We would see much less of the vagary which bedevils organizational life - the nonsense of projects that meander along for weeks, months, even years where people wonder what it's all about...
If we lead well towards beauty, if we lead wisely in the aesthetic dimension of life, then we would expect to see people bringing the very best of their talents to the making of great ideas, products, and solutions... I mean the elegance that arises even in mundane things from the artistry of people's lives. As leaders we would assist people to create and sustain environments in which they can bring forth the very best of who they are... They can be proud of, and find delight in, the works of their hands and minds.
If we lead well towards goodness, if we lead wisely in the moral dimension of life, then we would expect to see people who are strong in character.
If we lead well towards unity, if we lead wisely in the spiritual dimension of life, then we would expect to see people who have heart for what they do...
Four dispositions of heart and mind help give shape to my thinking and behavior as a leader who wants to lead wisely and ensure a partnership for living well. My four frames are – Story, Design, Promise, and Grace. The three sets of words link up like this:
Truth —> Clarity —> Story
Beauty —> Elegance —> Design
Goodness —> Strength —> Promise
Unity —> Heart —> Grace
Beauty —> Elegance —> Design
Goodness —> Strength —> Promise
Unity —> Heart —> Grace
Stories connect us very deeply to who we are... We tell each other stories... That's how relationships grow.
The great leaders of history, both those whose names are known, and those whose deeds remain obscure, have been story tellers. They connect deeply with people. They tell stories that touch the heart and the imagination. They paint a picture with words about the past and about the future...
A promise is when I speak in a way that you can justly base your expectations upon what I’ve said... I routinely find two symptoms in organizations: dishonesty and immaturity...
The Chilean philosopher. Fernando Flores says, "Most people speak without intention... We aren't aware of the amount of self-deception that we collect in our personalities...People talk about changing their thinking, but they have no idea what that is, let alone how to do it. The key is to stop producing interpretations which have no power"…
Flores is right: we construct our realities in language. It does make a difference whether I say things which limit me. My speech plays a powerful role in either inhibiting or liberating me, and those whom I lead.
That puts an enormous emphasis on a leader's speech. This is why every wisdom tradition places great emphasis upon the tongue and its power to give life or to destroy...
Grace is to extend kindness and dignity to another irrespective of their rank or merit or your own... to ignore one's place in the great chain of being... to overthrow mindless bureaucracy and sophisticated pettiness with small acts of gentle dignity. Grace is meeting as equals and acting accordingly.
Grace is a radical idea. To show grace is to circumvent the system... To show grace is to ignore educational attainment, wealth, physical appearance and prowess, popularity, fame or success as marks of a person's value... Leo Tolstoy once wrote:
"It is a mistake to think that there are times when you can safely address a person without love... It cannot be otherwise, because mutual love is the major law of our existence."
Great leaders, known or unknown, leaders who engage the hearts and minds of people with integrity and imagination, exhibit two deep qualities in tandem: humility and nobility...There is no trade off between them. Strength and gentleness. Grace reframes strength... To endure the scorn of those of small minds, self-deceived and given to mean and measly speech. It takes a noble heart to carry a grand purpose with a dignified presence. It takes grace to refuse to erect a monument to one's ego...
So how can you cultivate grace in your life?
The process is practical not magical.
- Dr. Mark Strom, 13 July 2001.
To read the complete address, please visit www.csdcambodia.org "Voice of Justice Program: A Conversation about Character, Wisdom, and Being a Leader".
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What kind of society do we Khmer want? We want a great society. A society where everyone believes s/he can influence change, where leaders serve and where courage, integrity and grace abound. This is a call to action. To do nothing is to let our society rot and allow the destructive mentality to prevail.Theary C. SENG
Theary C. SENG, former director of Center for Social Development (March 2006—July 2009), founded the Center for Justice & Reconciliation (www.cjr-cambodia.org) and is currently writing her second book, under a grant, amidst her speaking engagements.
52 comments:
You statement below should be echo million times Theary.... "We want a great society. A society where everyone believes s/he can influence change, where leaders serve and where courage, integrity and grace abound"
Unfortunately our Khmer society full of crook, stupid leaders such as now. They want to lead for power.
The two pictures above shown two absolutely different personalities.
Khmers picked the wrong one that's why we are as were are now.
A khmer from WA
sorry sir i just want to as you why you don' t you put
the picture of mr rainsy uprooting the border stack any more Ki-media ?
Cambodian society is morally bankrupt. Almost everyone are selfish. Mean spirit, no grace, kindness or compassion.
Let us repent, turn from our sins, and ask God to heal our nation.
law maker alway break the law and
run abroad and never face with the law ?
to 9:30AM
You SRP run away from the court??
Well if the curt is in justice way I think SRP won't run away but the way that government do everyday they do it for their partiy (CPP) they think everything is belong to them also the country !!!
If CPP brave, they would let the Sva Kimhong answer correctly to the SRP MP, but they just talk alone in Parliament, without answeering the question.
I support that he have to run away from the Kangkaroo court!!!
and He could work outside !!!
Goo to the hell CPP leaders!!
Youn Puppet !!! one day you have no way to go home coz youn will swallow Khmer land !!!
“Where there is no vision, the people perish.”
To Ah Khmer in WA,
I know it's hard for your premature skull to comprehend, but Khmer people did not vote for Hun Sen. Vietnamese was the ONLY people who have the right to vote.
Does any real Khmer out there that still think we voted for HS?
The more urgent that we elect Sam Rainsy as our leader! I want Sam Rainsy to represent Cambodia to the world. I don't want to be embarrassed anymore by our current leaders. Embarrased how our people are forced to live as beggars, to live as homeless people as the CPP sell our souls to our neighbors to the left and to the right and to China. Embarrassed by the ugly environment we are forced to live in, the selling of our daughters, the demeaning of our women, the violent attitude of the rich and powerful. Embarrassed by the obscenity, vileness and vulgarity.
Sam Rainsy please take care of yourself to be our leader!
This is our wish for the new year and new decade of 2010!
9:30
could it be, because it's a stupid law? A law that outweigh everything else but itself? The law that only protect the rich who abuse their position of authority......like yourself?
“Each time a man stands for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.” - Robert F. Kennedy, Capetown, 6 June 1966
This is you, Mr. Rainsy. Thank you for your courage and leadership.
9:55, that is so right! Because our current leader right now only have one vision. We are doom!
It so shameful when I hear same thinking as Ms. Theary writes 'It has been and is currently said that we Khmers deserve the leaders we have.'
Thanks, Theary, for writing this. This phrase got me thinking, "We are saying that a leader may know what others need. Many leaders have rationalized abuse in the name of knowing what people really need. But it is no answer to avoid leadership for fear of misusing it. Leadership is about responsibility, and the exercise of responsibility requites wisdom."
Teary, you have a strong voice and a stong leadership. We, Khmers, need more people like you. Thanks for your contributions to help our people.
Let's ask whose interest she is serving. Who is paying her salary? omg lol. So she is paid to say what she is saying? This woman can't even hold that simple job either and got fired. That is what you get for doing nothing but become a bitch to the white colonial rulers. This woman turned herself willingly into some foreigners' bitch like that Hollywood witch that caused trouble at the S21 prison to make her idiotic statement about China Olympics. Now the olympics in China is done, where is that fucking bitch that said she wants to pay respect to the dead Khmer? Where is that whore I ask? The Mia bitch disgracefully used our dead Khmer just to make her political statement and this tool of a human being Theary became her bitch accompanying her. Just because she is from Hollywood, you don't have to be bow down and lick her asshole. Have some self-respect, Theary lady.
Oh shut up ah Yuon wanna be Khmer 10;28am. Read the article before you replied ah ngorb phot pouch.
"Great leaders, known or unknown, leaders who engage the hearts and minds of people with integrity and imagination, exhibit two deep qualities in tandem: humility and nobility...There is no trade off between them. Strength and gentleness. Grace reframes strength... To endure the scorn of those of small minds, self-deceived and given to mean and measly speech." (great excerpt from article)
10:28am.
So bitch is your kind of word, eh?
Were you born or married to a bitch? If so you are in trouble, dude.
don't write too long i don't think they have time to read all of them
touk eiy noeung dei thlai eiy noeung mout chas!
10:01 AM if you are truely Khmer who did not vote for HS you should not over reacted to my statement. My statement targeted for Khmer kbal yourn only.
You deserve my appreciation if you never vote for HS.
A khmer from WA
Hi Khmer from WA,
First of all, many posters don't really read and think what other poster write. Some time they just look at the pictures then they make their comments.
That's how we see a lot of cursing escalate all over the place.
LEADERSHIP is not talking, but producing concrete outcome.
As a person who have gone through all regimes, from Sihanouk, to Lon Nol, Polt Pot, Heng Samrin and Hun Sen, the most important criteria for me as a Leader, what have you done for Cambodia. I have heard nice political discourses from all the above.
Ms. Theary Seng should have the foot on the ground and deliver concrete result, building schools, delivering services to Cambodians.
I live in Phnom Penh. I respect her. But I never know that she is doing something concrete to relieve the plights of poor Cambodians.
Excellent suggestion 12;56pm.
Hope she takes your wonderful advice. How about helping intelligent Khmer children whose scholarships were robbed by Yuon who used Khmer names to study oversea? Help Khmer kids to get the scholarships they deserve.
Muk neang niss lmop choy nass..!
And how about you 1:24pm?
Have you been choy?
1:24PM,
I think when you look at your mother's face you must be thinking the same thing. You are a son of a whore.
One of the main things for a leader is to eliminate confusion, yet I still see a lot of confusion.
We must know how to fight and who are the enemies, to kill a snake it not to hold it's tail, but to cut it's head.(Stop chasing the snake's tail.)
10:44 AM
I hope your daughter meets a Viet guy and fucks him and gets pregnant by him then we'll see whats up ah Chjout euy. Are you gonna kill your half bred Viet grandson, huh ah animal? lol
12:10 PM
and you faggot is ah KHmer krab ay young American. You are a fucking pussy living in the land of the whities being their slaves and don't dare to open a word of your opinions. Bitch, you're only tough on the internet. Come meet me real life in the street. I'll make sure to exact the little bitch that you are and video tape it so I can upload onto youtube after I bashed your fucking dumb head to the curb with my boots. Then, I'll send that video to your family as a New Year gift. How is that sounding to you?
2:17 PM
You don't like to fuck a girl? You like cocks? Just say it man if you like to take dicks up your asshole. No need to divert the meaning lol.
10:50 AM
How much is your mother a night buddy? I like to get a night with her to stretch that old pussy that gave birth to you? ;)
10:44 AM
If I am ah youn wanna be Khmer, you are ah KHmer wanna be white. Where you live, America? How many white dicks have you served to get to where you are? You faggot is only tough talking shit about Viet but can't do jackshit. That is why you are living in the foreign land. You pussy fled for your life and now trying to act tough? lol If you're tough, come back to Cambodia. We'll see if your asshole is as tough as your mouth when I jammed a baton up into.
If you want to be a Khmer leader,you ought go to ask some advise from Dalai Lama or Prince Charles.
Prince Charles and Camilla visit Buddhist temple
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/theroyalfamily/3278320/Prince-Charles-and-Camilla-visit-Buddhist-temple.html
and learn history from Mr Bernard Hamel.
Mr Khun Kèn was survivor as you,he wrote abook.
De la dictature des Khmers rouges à l'occupation vietnamienne: ...
WE need him to teach all Khmer new generation.
Good luck!
May Buddha bless you all!
"Even a young monk who devotes himself to the teaching of the Buddha,illumines this world as does the moon freed from a cloud"
"yo-hak vétak hak-ror ,phikhu yugn chhati puthsané sor-imaing lokaing ,paphear séti akphea mutorvak munti mear"
People interested in testifying and groups with survivors who would like to become involved can contact ASRIC via e-mail at asric.apa@nyu.edu or by calling Nou at 562-985-7439.
I have tried and tried again to look at this woman in a different light. But she just doesn't shine through in a positive way. There is something fake and fishy about her. She is very pretentious. She presents herself as very self serving and opportunistic at the plight and expense of others. There is no consolatory tone from her for the sake of solidarity and greater good of Cambodia and her people. There is no constructive dialogues from this woman thus far. With this kind of attitude, people tend to fight back with a sentiment of "Who and what the fuck this bitch from oversea thinks she is?" She is just a mouth piece of you know who. whoever gives her money, attention that she craves, and shelter.
10:28 am, your sentiment about this woman is well found. And so do others' that have been voiced out and unspoken. This woman ought to get down to her hands and knees to dig some wells for the poor and disadvantage Cambodians for a change. And I mean not just one well then plaster your name on it. People are fed up with her face and plagiarized materials.
Theary, thank you for your voice of reason and intelligence in a land of darkness and confusion, in contrast to the madness. Continue to do what you do. You have our support.
Ms. Theary, you wrote, "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." It's very true!
true only for you two ^^^^ delusional lackeys. The majority of the people are ignoring her. Cambodia now needs people there to rebuild not a self serving, fame seeking, opportunist like theary seng.
Theary,
I am turned on rock hard just looking at your picture.
Can we get together for some serious love making?
Khmer Stud
3:40 pm,
Ah.mee jumkourt. I live in Phnom Penh and the US is just a school I am in. Wait when I finish my degree I'll go back and fuck your mothr deep to her throat. Get it ah.me Yuon wanna be Khmer?
12:28 AM,
Really?? Hah Hah.. Nice asking. Don't you think you should date students between 18-25 instead of women in late 35's? Yisshhh you must be a very old scum delinquent student, eh? Oh what school are you in now? "Fuckinginbed University"?
"Don't you think you should date students between 18-25 instead of women in late 35's?"
I don't care how old Theary is. She is good looking. Is your Mama good looking, too? If so, we should get together.
I'll show her what she's been missing.
Khmer Stud
1:39am.
I am your long lost brother and my mother is your mother, so go and have a good appetite with her.
You an't no student you bastard, your wife is mee kapal pleung doss koy and she will poke your azz with her iron fingers. Oh man "sroul nass" eh?
"your wife will poke your azz"
Actually, I liked it better when you did it to me. You were such a good lover I can never forget how good you are in bed.
Do you want to get together again soon?
Khmer Stud
2;38am,
You are gay? Oh hah haha.. sroul nas ah sroul nas. Let brothers attend the fuckinginbed university. haha haha.. You like a bj? we do to each other. haha haha
Come on dude 3'18am.
You said this Yuon thug aka Khmer stu's wife mee kapal pleung doss koy don't you think his wife is lady boy? So he is gay alrite.
Khmer Stu my azz, he is Yuon, ah Yuon choy m'day vea.
"Khmer Stu my azz, he is Yuon"
If that's true, we might be related. The Bo Doi soldiers raped many Khmer girls during the 10-year Yuon occupation. Ask your Mama about her dirty family secrets before you talk trash about your own "Yuon" brother.
Khmer (eh, I mean Yuon) Stud
Khmer gov't needs to learn to adapt with the Australian way of life by creating a welfare system to help the poor and creating jobs for people so they can help paying tax to rebuild its nation and country. If Aust, Singa, ZN, and other countries can do it, so can we!. K. gov't needs to know this, No one in the world loves your own people than you do. If you don't care for them, others will take your people off you and use them instead. Remember this, the more people we have the better and it can be successful if we have an appropriate laws put in place. At the moment, there are only have 14 millions in our country compared to others they have billions yet they are able to run their countries very well, so why can't we?. All gov't need to know this, we only live once as well do the right thing for the righteous will live forever and the wicked will be terminated, by this I mean, we must be focus on putting new infrastructures such roads, schools, Universities, Hospitals, shopping centre and more for the long term benefit of the people and gov't. Aust
Bong Seng Theary is so strong and beautiful and very intelligence. I am so proud!
how old is this woman exactly?
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