There's no change without belief

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September 15, 2010
By A. Gaffar Peang-Meth
Pacific Daily News (Guam)

Opportunities to interact with others and engage in situations through which our own beliefs and habits are challenged, are engaging and stimulating. Through such interactions, we learn to take new perspectives into account.

The reconsiderations that result are an important element to improving the quality of our thinking. To paraphrase Sir Isaac Newton -- and take his reference into a new realm -- an object at rest tends to stay at rest; an object in motion tends to stay in motion; unless stopped by an unbalanced force.

A founding partner of a firm that provides global corporations with training, facilitation and consultation in productive thinking and innovation, Tim Hurson, says better thinking can be taught.

He admits "truly focused thinking" is hard work. It involves "observing, remembering, wondering, imagining, inquiring, interpreting, evaluating, judging, identifying, supporting, composing, comparing, analyzing, calculating, and even metacognition (thinking about thinking)."

It's no wonder "why so few people" actually engage in it, he says.

In the words of Martin Luther King: "Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think."

No 'cut to the chase'

In this age of instant gratification with a click of a keyboard or a push of a button, who has the patience to wait 20 years for education to bear fruit? In my teaching days, students' whispers and body language could transmit their frustration with the hard work of "thinking." As a teacher, sometimes my best efforts to engage my students fell short.

But as the world marches on, dedicated teachers inspire, challenge and prepare students for a competitive world.

Education takes time; there is no "cut to the chase," no ABC action manual, no one-size-fits-all.

We have to rely on our "one kilo of brain" to think -- and to think better.

Denial

"You are in denial. I am in denial, We are all in denial," someone wrote.

Denial is used across cultures and national boundaries, by individuals, groups or nations as a defense mechanism to escape from unwanted feelings of hurt, shame or guilt. Denial is an unwillingness to face an unpleasant reality or a painful truth.

Children love to play in their fantasy worlds. But they grow and learn about reality.

The comic character Calvin plays in his fantasy world, away from the real world of his father and mother. Invincible fantasy Calvin saves the world from inhumanity and injustice -- until his parents subject him to human cruelties such as eating dinner or taking a bath or doing homework.

Then Calvin knows his world of fantasy has ended.

For us grownups, denial persists. We live in the real world, where we cannot avoid an unpleasantness or a pain that we wish never occurred. Life affects us with its ups and downs. We are not beyond doing foolish things and making mistakes, being neither saints nor angels.

We differ from animals in that they rely on instinct. We have our intelligence to help us think, learn from our errors and move on.

Yet there are those who are stuck, who cannot move on.

Denial and blaming go hand in hand.

Simple denial is a rejection of a reality or a truth: "No, that's just not so!"
As we live in a world of our own creations, our self-righteousness makes us the good guys who can't do wrong; the others are the bad ones, responsible for all ills under the sun.

Minimization is playing down the level of seriousness of a reality or a truth, without really denying it: "But I had only two social drinks."

A most dangerous form of denial is transference: One in denial excuses oneself from the unpleasant painful reality but holds others responsible for unpleasant, hurtful things: "Had you not done that, this wouldn't have happened!"

One excuses oneself from culpability, but reproaches and condemns others as responsible.

Change

Karma -- or what Cambodians termed "prumlikhit" -- is a belief that one's lot is determined by a supernatural force, or by what is ordained that can't be changed. They explain one's failed exam, bad marriage, accident, illness, poverty and so on.

If so, is any person responsible for anything?

Cambodians in general say they worry about Cambodia's continued existence as an entity. Their neighbors to the east, the Vietnamese, and to the West, the Thais, have repeatedly encroached on Khmer territories over centuries. Much of today's Vietnam and Thailand once belonged to the Khmers. Many denounce Khmer kings, queens, princes, princesses and elites for the disintegration and shrinkage of modern Cambodia, and condemn their neighbors.

Justifiably so, one can argue.

But is such an exercise misplaced energy? Energy should be channeled to educating and to learning for a better future.

I, myself, write about the losses of Khmer territories, the usurpation of Khmer land by the neighbors, the maddening Vietnamization of Cambodia with the compliance of Khmer rulers, royal and non-royal.

Khmers should learn from their neighbors to block their dark designs. They must unlearn old habits that keep Khmers from advancing. A respected Cambodian-American scholar said the Khmers' neighbors to the east were Khmers Anh-Em, a term of endearment, while Khmer activists refer to them in pejoratives, as if this is going to change anything.

Change begins with one's self. There cannot be change until we believe change is possible.

A. Gaffar Peang-Meth, Ph.D., is retired from the University of Guam, where he taught political science for 13 years. Write him at peangmeth@yahoo.com.