China offered a personal "cadeau" to Samdech Aka Moha Sena Padei Techo Hun Sen: A mausoleum

Artist conceptual rendering of the mausoleum offered by China to Samdech Aka Moha Sena Padei Techo Hun Sen. Samdech suggested that the mausoleum be built at the Phnom Penh Royal Palace once it is torn down (Photo Tsingtao)

Phnom Penh, 01 April 2012 (Tsingtao) – During his meeting with Samdech Aka Moha Sena Padei Techo (SAMSPT) Hun Sen, H.E. Hu Jintao, the august President of the People’s Republic of China (hail to his reign!), asked SAMSPT Hun Sen to help slow down any talk about the South China Sea during the upcoming ASEAN summit meeting to be held in Phnom Penh, the capital of Cambodia. In response to this request, SAMSPT asks H.E. Hu Jintao (hail to his reign!) what China would be willing to offer in exchange for his friendly all-around service to China. H.E. Hu (hail to his reign!) offered to double the trade between the two countries, to which SAMSPT declined the offer by stating: “Honorable guest, Vietnam offered me the same thing. Besides, doubling the trade with China brings me nothing back since we can only export drug (through my nephew Hun To) and China is very strict about the import of such substance into its country.”

Trying to save his face on this embarrassing comment made by his host, H.E. Hu (hail to his reign!) turned to his advisors sitting behind him to solicit more ideas. H.E. Pain in-da-Guangxue, the august Chinese ambassador to Cambodia, then suggested a brilliant idea to H.E. Hu (hail to his reign!).

H.E. Hu (hail to his reign!) turned back to SAMSPT Hun Sen and told him: “I will offer you a Mao Zedong’s style mausoleum when you die!” To this suggestion, SAMSPT first flew into a fit of anger: “Honorable guest, what? You want to offer me a mouse-hole? Are you an honorable nut?”. H.E. Hu (hail to his reign!) tried to calm him down by saying: “Read my lips, I said ‘mo-so-le-um’ not ‘mouse-hole’, you Honorable Moron!”. Realizing his mistake, SAMSPT replied: “Honorable guest is very kind to this unworthy servant. Your offer pleases me immensely, so much so that I can die for it! (sic!). But, wait, there is a big problem in our country: we rely on unreliable Vietnamese electricity, if you want to keep my body frozen for posterity, what if the Vietnamese electricity is cut off, wouldn’t I become an honorable rotten ghost?”. H.E. Hu Jintao (hail to his reign!) promised his honorable host that Chinese scientists will be put to work to solve this problem in the near future. Meanwhile, he reminded his honorable host: “Whatever you do, Honorable Moron, make sure the honorable ‘goddamned’ South China Sea is not discussed, OK?”.

With that the two honorable men established a renewed all-around comprehensive strategic partnership of cooperation.