You can change, if you desire to

September 29, 2010
By A. Gaffar Peang-Meth
PACIFIC DAILY NEWS (Guam)

As I contemplated the topic for my column this week, the one I am about to write did not occur to me. But the quantity of e-mail from Khmer readers and some important questions in the Khmer blog, KI-Media, obliges this column.

I didn't think that my personal story would open a torrent of mail about readers' own life experiences, but that is what happened. There are painful stories about life under Pol Pot. And a story about a schoolboy made to stand still at a school flag pole with a stone on his shoulder for an entire class period in the 1950s because he "played with girls" reminds me that the authoritarian mentality has its roots in small actions.

I am sorry some Cambodian readers feel the need to write their comments anonymously. Stand up for what you think and say. Pol Pot is dead, and change will bring down a dictator like Hun Sen. Even so, some of the questions in the week's mail deserve answers.

Answering questions

An anonymous blogger commented that as readers and the writer don't know one another, "we tend to assume. ... Eventually, those assumptions become a reality." So, he was happy to read my life story.

Under Pol Pot, he had no schooling, but he could "carry the young rice on my head and care for water buffaloes." Two years in a refugee camp brought no schooling either. It was not until 1982 that he started school in the United States.

Now "I am able to communicate well in English," he wrote. He thanked me for my life story as it has helped him understand more about Khmers educated abroad pre-1975. He lamented how "older Khmers (around 30 years old)" -- hey, dude, 30 is young! -- insisted they already know what they needed to know; thus, "the conversation would end." He thanked all educators who helped shape his and other lives. He signed his name as "kaun Khmer" (a Khmer child).

Another anonymous writer asked me what he has been asking himself, and would like my thought. I wrote in this space before that I don't ever forget the land, the home, the village, the school, the friends. But all those are only memories today, for they all have changed, and are no longer what I remember. I am sure some childhood friends may not care for my thinking now, any more than I for theirs.

There's no place like home, of course. Sure, I miss all that I was familiar with. But those things of memory are not the same anymore, I don't miss what I don't know.

Do I want to go back to live in Cambodia? Sure. But having become who and what I am today, I cannot live where rights and free expression are curbed, creativity, innovation, criticality are seen suspiciously as treacherous. Cambodia's sky is not hospitable to my ways -- not now.

More than one reader asked if I regret not going into medicine or engineering. I still have no stomach to put a needle into someone's flesh, I can't stand blood and I still thank God for the calculator to help me balance my bank book.

One reader asked if I would recommend political science. Well, any field of study is good; but every human should have some knowledge of politics. I used to tell beginning students of politics: "From the cradle to the grave, we live our lives in the midst of politics." Politics is not just for politicians or government officials; it's for everyone. What you don't know can hurt you.

How do I help?

A former politics student of mine, who followed up with graduate studies on the mainland, e-mailed me after reading my column: She and her family are returning to Guam from the West Coast. She's applying to teach political science at the University of Guam. She was in the top 3 percent of students I had taught. UOG would be wise to hire her.

A former colleague in the resistance wrote to say he's undertaking a doctoral program at a university in Phnom Penh. Bravo! He asked for some guidance. I am glad to help.

And a young political activist in the U.S. who said he "read(s) every article" I write, wanted me to help. I wished I can stretch my day to more than 24 hours; but I already like what he has been doing.

Remember Martin Luther King's words: "If you can't fly, run. If you can't run, walk. If you can't walk, crawl, but by all means, keep moving." He also said, "I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be."

All can be taught

I do believe Khmers have the same capacity to learn and grow as any other. I subscribe to Tim Hurson's "Think Better (your company's future depends on it ... and so does yours)" that posits: "Every brain, regardless of its intelligence quotient ... or creative quotient, ... can be taught to think better: to understand more clearly, think more creatively, and plan more effectively."

If I can do it -- and have done it -- so can any Khmer. But one has to want to do it.

In the end, it is better thinking, or quality thinking, that will help defeat autocracy in Cambodia and keep Khmers Khmer.

The place to begin is with you.

A. Gaffar Peang-Meth, Ph.D., is retired from the University of Guam, where he taught political science for 13 years. Write him at peangment@yahoo.com.